And as for those unexplained things (Louie neither knew nor cared what
they might be), she could only tell him now what she had told him that
night when they had walked together, that wives must either be wives
or not, must be told things or else be something less than wives.
Perhaps she had not put it quite so plainly to him as that before,
but that was what it had amounted to. Men with secrets ought to marry
the right women.... She stole a daring look at him across the table.
He was mumbling and twiddling a spoon now. His shoulders, bigger than
Buck's, were clothed in an exquisite iron-grey cloth; she wondered
whether he knew that she had kissed one of them that night in a
Chelsea doorway.... And then, as he paused and looked up, she spoke.
She did so almost curtly. If not telling hadn't answered, she said,
she could only suggest, once more, telling. As for Kitty, he might put
her entirely on one side; as long as she remained with Louie, Louie
would answer for her.
Then, for the first time, he seemed to show a gleam of interest in her
affairs. He asked her how she got her living, now.... Her pulse
quickened. Billy had told him, then; by "now" he meant now that she no
longer sat; and his eyes avoided hers. He coloured; apparently he
thought he was doing her an honour in wiping out all memory of that
discovery in Billy's studio. An honour! She could have laughed at him.
He little knew how she longed to tell him more--to tell him about the
oyster-grey too--to tell him that for her it was as long ago as that.
But no, he had seen the pearl----
And it appeared that his talk really had an object now; but, as usual,
she had seen the drift of it before he had. He was thinking of Miss
Levey's place, if his absurd delicacies would only allow him to get it
out.
"Would you accept it?" he managed at last to ask, sounding her
earnestly with his eyes.
"Steady, silly woman," she whispered to herself, brightly flushing....
But, glancing at him, she suddenly winced. Twice before men had
offered her posts, at more than their market value, and there had been
no colour in her cheeks as she had refused them; had she coloured now
at the quick thought that if _he_ had made such an offer she might
perhaps...? If so, there was mortification and despite in her colour.
Why did he offer her Miss Levey's place? Was it his wife again--always
his ninny of a wife? If that was so, so much the worse for him; it was
time he learned that if he got into a mess he must make shift to get
out of it again. There was a new little twang in her voice as,
suddenly looking into his eyes, she said: "You've no right to expect
that of me!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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