"When Ivan went on his tours he was met by the householders and presented with the best they had. A poor shoemaker knowing not what to give, except a pair of sandals, was reminded that a large turnip in his garden was a rarity, and so presented that to Ivan, who took the present so kindly that he commanded a hundred of his followers to buy sandals of the man at a crown a pair. A boyard seeing him so well paid, made account by the rule of proportion to get a much greater reward by presenting Ivan with a fine horse, but Ivan, suspecting his intention, rewarded him with the turnip the bootmaker had given." On a certain festival he played mad pranks, which caused some Dutch and English women to laugh, and he, noticing this, sent all to the palace, where he had them stripped stark naked before him in a great room and then he commanded four or five bushels of pease to be thrown on the floor and made them pick all up one by one, and, when they had done, gave them wine and bade them heed how they laughed before an emperor again. He sent for a nobleman of Kasan, who was called _Plesheare_, which is "Bald," and the Vayvod mistaking the word, thought he sent for a hundred bald pates and therefore got together as many as he could, about eighty or ninety, and sent them up speedily with an excuse that he could find no more in his province and asking pardon. The emperor seeing so many, crossed himself, and finding out how the mistake occurred, made the baldpates drunk for three days then sent them home again.--_Collins._ "He it was who nailed a French ambassador's hat to his head. Sir Jeremy Bowes, the English ambassador, soon after came before Ivan, put on his hat, and cocked it before him, at which Ivan sternly demanded how he durst do so, having heard how he chastised the French ambassador. Sir Jeremy answered, 'I am the ambassador of the invincible Queen of England, who does not veil her bonnet, nor bare her head to any prince living. If any of her ministers shall receive any affront abroad, she is able to avenge her own quarrel.' "'Look you at that!' cried Ivan to his boyards, 'Which of you would do so much for me, your master?'"