The Story of My Life: With her letters (1887-1901) and a supplementary account of her education, including passages from the reports and letters of her teacher, Anne Mansfield Sullivan, by John Albert MacyKeller, Helen
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The Story of My Life: With her letters (1887-1901) and a supplementary account of her education, including passages from the reports and letters of her teacher, Anne Mansfield Sullivan, by John Albert Macy
Keller, Helen
Deafblind women -- United States -- Biography; Keller, Helen, 1880-1968
This habit of assimilating what pleased me and giving it out again as my
own appears in much of my early correspondence and my first attempts at
writing. In a composition which I wrote about the old cities of Greece
and Italy, I borrowed my glowing descriptions, with variations, from
sources I have forgotten. I knew Mr. Anagnos's great love of antiquity
and his enthusiastic appreciation of all beautiful sentiments about
Italy and Greece. I therefore gathered from all the books I read every
bit of poetry or of history that I thought would give him pleasure. Mr.
Anagnos, in speaking of my composition on the cities, has said, "These
ideas are poetic in their essence." But I do not understand how he ever
thought a blind and deaf child of eleven could have invented them. Yet
I cannot think that because I did not originate the ideas, my little
composition is therefore quite devoid of interest. It shows me that I
could express my appreciation of beautiful and poetic ideas in clear and
animated language.
Those early compositions were mental gymnastics. I was learning, as all
young and inexperienced persons learn, by assimilation and imitation,
to put ideas into words. Everything I found in books that pleased me I
retained in my memory, consciously or unconsciously, and adapted it.
The young writer, as Stevenson has said, instinctively tries to copy
whatever seems most admirable, and he shifts his admiration with
astonishing versatility. It is only after years of this sort of practice
that even great men have learned to marshal the legion of words which
come thronging through every byway of the mind.
I am afraid I have not yet completed this process. It is certain that
I cannot always distinguish my own thoughts from those I read,
because what I read becomes the very substance and texture of my mind.
Consequently, in nearly all that I write, I produce something which very
much resembles the crazy patchwork I used to make when I first learned
to sew. This patchwork was made of all sorts of odds and ends--pretty
bits of silk and velvet; but the coarse pieces that were not pleasant to
touch always predominated. Likewise my compositions are made up of crude
notions of my own, inlaid with the brighter thoughts and riper opinions
of the authors I have read. It seems to me that the great difficulty
of writing is to make the language of the educated mind express our
confused ideas, half feelings, half thoughts, when we are little more
than bundles of instinctive tendencies. Trying to write is very much
like trying to put a Chinese puzzle together. We have a pattern in
mind which we wish to work out in words; but the words will not fit the
spaces, or, if they do, they will not match the design. But we keep
on trying because we know that others have succeeded, and we are not
willing to acknowledge defeat.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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