Bonaparte also visited the Permons; and Madame Junot, afterwards
Duchess of Abrantès, has left us a witty pen-picture of him as he
appeared in full regimentals at the age of sixteen.
“There was one part of his dress,” she writes, “which had a very droll
appearance--that was his boots. They were so high and wide that his
thin little legs seemed buried in their amplitude. Young people are
always ready to observe anything ridiculous, and as soon as my sister
and I saw Napoleon enter the drawing-room, we burst into a loud fit
of laughter. Buonaparte could not relish a joke; and when he found
himself the object of merriment he grew angry. My sister, who was some
years older than I, told him that since he wore a sword he ought to
be gallant to ladies, and, instead of being angry, should be happy
that they joked with him. ‘You are nothing but a child, a little
school-girl,’ said Napoleon, in a tone of contempt. Cécile, who was
twelve or thirteen years of age, was highly indignant at being called a
child, and she hastily resented the affront by replying to Bonaparte,
‘And you are nothing but a Puss in Boots!’ This excited a general laugh
among all present except Napoleon, whose rage I will not attempt to
describe.” A few days later the young officer went to a bookseller’s
shop, purchased a dainty edition of “Puss in Boots,” and presented it
to the culprit. This was his way of apologising.
For a time he relaxed his close application to study without neglecting
his books altogether, and turned author. There is a pessimistic
strain in all his literary efforts at this period, due no doubt
to home-sickness, overwork, and perhaps lack of means, his income
certainly never totalling more than twenty shillings a week. He even
contemplated suicide, evidence of which is found in a manuscript dated
the 3rd May, 1786.
“Always alone in the midst of men,” he complains, “I come back to my
rooms to dream with myself, and to surrender myself to all the vivacity
of my melancholy. Towards which side is it turned to-day? To the side
of death. In the dawn of my days I can still hope to live a long time,
but I have been away from my country for about six or seven years. What
pleasures shall I not enjoy when in four months’ time I see once more
my compatriots and my relations? From the tender sensations with which
the recollections of the pleasures of my childhood now fill me, may I
not infer that my happiness will be complete? What madness leads me,
then, to wish my death? Doubtless the thought: What is there to do in
this world?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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