Just so it is with me. My day has long been over; the hours of work are
spent, the twilight seems long, very long, but the night is at hand.
I am glad that it should be so. To the old weary eyes this dim light
is welcome; to the tired frame, 'the night in which no man can work,'
looks full of rest as it draws near.
You ask me how it was with me in the morning.
It is so long ago I can scarcely remember now.
In the morning, when I was young?
Let me look back through the shadowy years.
Ah yes! It comes slowly to me--the wild morning freshness, the
flower-scented air. The dawn has broken; it is all wonderfully bright;
there seem to be no clouds; the sun rises in golden radiance, and the
earth is flooded with glory.
And as my eyes--dazzled at first--grow more used to the splendour of
the young day, robed and crowned with light, I see an old gateway grim
and grey, facing the west. It lies in shadow still, but a child pushes
open the heavy wooden door, and suddenly a stream of sunlight pours
through, and he stands there with the morning light behind him.
How often there may be two meanings in our simplest words. I was
standing truly, on the threshold of life, even as my childish feet
rested on the grey worn stone, and far before me lay the mists and the
shadows, the hopes and the sorrows of my future. Only from behind--my
home lay in there behind--from there the sunshine had never failed me
yet.
My hand, a small soft round one, rested against the arched gateway,
among the stonecrop and the yellow lichen. I remember that I tried to
loosen one of the old stones, but I could not. It was still as strong
and immovable as when, ages ago, it had been fitted into its place.
I daresay it is just as firm now, though the little busy hand is so
withered and feeble.
It was the gateway of a ruined castle, grand and very beautiful in
its ruin. I have heard people say that they wished they could put all
things back, and see it as it once was; but I always wondered at them.
I would not have changed one stone.
I suppose that all places may look sad at times--beneath the grey sky
of winter, or when autumn winds are blowing; but on a summer's day no
place has ever seemed to me so bright with sunshine as our ruins.
It was as if old age had come upon them lightly, bringing with it no
burden of sadness, and that their days of work long over, they were
content to lie idle in the kind warm sun, and to tell stories of the
past.
The birds built their nests in the traceried windows, and sang and
loved each other, and skimmed about at their own wild will above the
flowery turf.
Ivy, the child of old age, had wound itself round the broken towers,
half clinging to them, half supporting them.
It was one of my mother's quaint sayings that the soft mossy grass,
which grew luxuriantly everywhere, reminded her of charity, for that
though Time had stolen much away, all its thefts were covered and
hidden beneath that widely-spread mantle of turf.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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