JEM (_to PORTER_): Let her ladyship's trunks be taken to the Blue Rooms. KITTY: Not to the Blue Rooms. They are quite damp. (_To JEM_) I may speak a word in my own house, I suppose? (_To PORTER_) Let the trunks be taken to the Turret Room. JEM: The chimneys smoke there. KITTY: Excuse me. They do not. JEM: Excuse _me_. They do. SIR W.: They smoked once upon a time, perhaps, but may not now. PORTER: Where may I say the luggage is to be carried? JEM: Take your orders from your mistress. KITTY: No! From your master! JEM (_to KITTY_): Spare me at least before the lady's-maid! KITTY (_to JEM_): Oh! nobody knows better how you behave than Porter. Our quarrels are no secret from _her_. JEM: That must be your fault. How can she know of them but from you? KITTY: I tell her nothing. But your voice would reach to the ends of the earth. JEM: As for yours--why---- KITTY: Grandmamma always said my voice was the most gentle she had ever heard. JEM: But, then, your grandmother---- SIR W. (_to LADY FLO_): I really think we had better leave, after all. LADY FLO (_affectionately_): No! dearest Will! I really think we had better stay. SIR W.: For _my_ part---- LADY FLO: I tell you we _must_ stay. SIR W.: Very well, Flo, as you wish. You always know best. (_They exchange smiles._) LADY FLO (_to JEM_): Kitty will take me to my room. So I leave my better half in your good company. (_Exit with KITTY._) SIR W.: I can't help regretting I came here, old fellow. It was your aunt's idea. I made objections. But she insisted that you'd both be glad enough to have a little interruption in your honeymoon. JEM: She never said a truer word. SIR W.: Then the honeymoon is not so great a success, after all? JEM: To tell the truth, it's all a ghastly failure! SIR W.: Poor boy! Believe me, I'm awfully sorry for you. (_Puts his hand on JEM'S shoulder._) JEM: I'm awfully glad you're sorry. SIR W.: I pity you from my heart. JEM: Thanks very much. SIR W.: For my part, if I led a cat-and-dog life with your aunt, I should wish to blow my brains out. JEM: So that's the advice you give me! (_Moves towards door._) SIR W.: Oh! no! All I want is five minutes' chat with you. Anything that affects Flo's niece naturally affects me. JEM: Naturally. (_Laughs._) SIR W.: Now come! Tell me! How did your misunderstandings begin? JEM: I really couldn't say. SIR W.: And yet quarrels always have a beginning. JEM: Of course, when women are so confoundedly selfish. SIR W.: Kitty is selfish? JEM: I don't want to make any complaints about her. Yet I must admit that she takes absolutely no interest in anything which interests me. You know my hobby--fishing---- SIR W.: And Kitty doesn't care for fishing?