LADY FLO: I'm afraid it didn't affect him as it ought. (_With a sentimental sigh_) The only consolation we can derive from the misfortune of our nephew and niece is that we are happier than they! SIR W.: Clever little woman! (_Kisses her._) LADY FLO: Dear old Will! (_Kisses him. Then with a sudden change of tone_) But now I _must_ hear what it was Jem was saying to you when I came into the room! You answered that "of course you wouldn't tell his aunt for the wide world." That must have been a _façon de parler_! [Illustration: SIR W.: "THE ABYSS MAY WIDEN!" (INDICATES AN IMAGINARY ABYSS.)] SIR W.: Of course! of course! And you shall know all about it as soon as I have asked Jem's leave. Meanwhile we must attend to the fates of these unhappy young people. We had better first try to show them their grievous fault as gently as possible, and if gentleness does not answer---- LADY FLO: Oh, yes! Gentleness is all very well! But I tell you quite candidly, Will, that before we talk of gentleness I must insist on knowing what it is you told Jem that you would not let me hear. SIR W.: The fact is, my dear----(_Coughs._) LADY FLO: Tell me what the fact is, and at once, my dear! SIR W.: The facts are, dear child----(_Coughs again._) LADY FLO (_irritated_): Don't cough! SIR W. (_continues coughing_): Well! it's a long story. LADY FLO: Haven't you a lozenge? SIR W.: Never mind the lozenge! The story, I say, is a long one. LADY FLO: Long or short, I must hear it! SIR W.: I'll tell it to you, later on. LADY FLO: I begin to suspect you can't tell me all about it, simply--because you _can't_! SIR W.: Oh! I can! I could! LADY FLO: Oh, no, you can't. You couldn't, and you ought to be ashamed of yourself! SIR W.: You are going just a little bit too far, Florence. LADY FLO: Oh, no; it was _you_ who went too far. Why, I knew it by the look on your face the instant I came into the room! SIR W. (_aside_): She is going very much too far. (_Aloud_) Nonsense! LADY FLO: I beg pardon? SIR W.: I repeat "Nonsense." And _ridiculous nonsense_! LADY FLO: Then, how dare you? SIR W.: You forget yourself strangely. LADY FLO: Do not attempt to adopt your nephew's manner to his wife towards me! SIR W.: It is _you_, my love, who are unfortunate in your choice of a manner this morning; and although pettishness in a young girl like Kitty has a certain little charm of its own---- LADY FLO: Yes! SIR W.: When a woman has reached your time of life---- LADY FLO (_furious_): Yes!!! SIR W.: Petulance sits remarkably ill upon her--upon _you_, my dear---- LADY FLO: When a man has reached your time of life and remains as great a fool---- SIR W. (_furious_): A fool? LADY FLO: Yes! As great a fool and an idiot as ever---- SIR W.: I was always aware you had the very devil of a temper, Florence, and now, after fifteen years of married life, I make the discovery that you can be excessively--ahem!--unladylike.