THE MODERN MATHEWS: D.C.--D.C. in this instance is to remind me that it's deuced cheek! Oh! I give them occasionally. I remember once a couple of seats I gave to a policeman. When I am studying a part I like to take long walks in the country--down the lanes. On one occasion I was learning up my character in Gilbert's play of "Foggerty's Fairy." In the last act I am supposed to be mad. On the other hand, I maintain that the keepers appointed over me are mad and not I. I have to describe a murder I am supposed to have committed, and to go through all the details of the crime. This I did once in a secluded nook in the Hampstead Woods--giving it forth at the top of my voice, thoroughly entering into the spirit of the business. A policeman caught sight of me. He had evidently been watching me for some time. Suddenly he made for me, seized me by the collar, and said he should charge me at the station on my own confession! It took a long time to explain--but I succeeded eventually in putting matters straight with the aid of a sovereign and a couple of seats for the first night of "Foggerty"! [Illustration: SCENE FROM "DAVID GARRICK." MISS MARY MOORE. MR. WYNDHAM. MR. GIDDENS. _Taken on the stage of Criterion Theatre at night by Mr. John F. Roberts._] _Enter_ CLERK _with more letters_. INTERVIEWER _suggests he shall return in the evening. Mutual consent. A wait of three hours till_-- SCENE VII.--THE MODERN MATHEWS'S _dressing-room at the Criterion Theatre. A comfortable little apartment, with speaking-tubes connecting with all parts and all officials of the theatre. A small window--with a blind--opens on to the stage, so that its occupant can see exactly what is going on on the boards, and knows when to prepare to enter._ THE MODERN MATHEWS _discovered_. _Enter_ INTERVIEWER. THE MODERN MATHEWS: Ah! there you are! Foolish again. Made the same remark this morning when we met--didn't I? Mustn't say it again. (_Pencils memory initials on shirt-cuff to this effect._) I've only just got here. That confounded cigarette case--couldn't find it again, M.C. stands for too many things: shall have to invent another plan. I've got it. Always smoke! Eh?--then I shan't have to worry about it! I'm never here till it's time to walk on. Wigs? Never wear 'em. Never so good as your own hair. I never wore a wig for "D.G.," always had my hair dressed. Much better. Excuse me--I'm on. (_Rushes on to stage. The scenery needed here is somewhat elaborate, but it is journalistically adjusted particularly for this occasion. Shouts of laughter. Laughter ceases._ THE MODERN MATHEWS _comes in at the same rate as he departed_.)