If ever through the coming year, You feel a mood of deep distress, The cause whereof may not appear (Maybe the cook, or cussedness); If there should come the moment when You seem to lose your self-control, And counting slowly up to ten Fails to relieve your soul; If you should feel insanely prone To controversial debate Till reason totters on her throne For pure desire to aggravate; If you would madly say, you will, Merely because I hope you won't, Dear, though it almost makes you ill, Think of the Flitch, and don't. --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Illustration: DUNMOW TOWN HALL, "COUNSEL FOR THE BACON", PRIORY CHURCH IN 1802] DUNMOW TOWN HALL, where the ceremony presided over by Harrison Ainsworth took place. "COUNSEL FOR THE BACON."--Mr. T. Gibbons in this rôle cross-examining a Claimant. PRIORY CHURCH IN 1802.--From a drawing of this date, valuable as showing a part of the edifice now demolished. --------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------- [Illustration: IN LITTLE DUNMOW, "PRIORY PLACE"] IN LITTLE DUNMOW.--A typical old dwelling in Little Dunmow. It was such an one, Rose Farm, that Harrison Ainsworth had in mind in describing his Dunmow Flitch Inn. "PRIORY PLACE."--An extremely old building now in use as cottages, where the Courts of the Lord of the Manor were held. Supposed to be on the site of the Priory Manor house. --------------------------------------------------------------------- CHAPTER XII Another Flitch Custom A bacon custom, not unlike that of Dunmow, existed at Wichnor, a little place near Lichfield. It originated in a jocular tenure by which Sir Philip de Somerville held the Manor from Edward III. In memory of that tenure a wooden Flitch of Bacon is displayed to this day above the great fireplace in Wichnor Hall. The oath was to the following effect-- Hear ye, Sir Philip de Somervile, lord of Whichenoure, maintainer and giver of this Bacon, that I, A, syth I wedded B, my wyfe, and syth I had her in my kepying and at wylle, by a Yere and a Daye after our Marryage, I would not have changed for none other, farer ne fowler, richer ne pourer, ne for none other descended of gretter lynage, sleeping ne waking, at noo time, and if the said B were sole and I sole, I would take her to be my wyfe before all other wymen of the worlde, of what condytion soevere they be, good or evyle, as helpe me God, and Seyntys, and this flesh and all fleshes. The foregoing words are inscribed below the Flitch. There is a reference to them, in one of Horace Walpole's Letters. To an applicant who was a "villeyn" corn and a cheese were given in addition to the Flitch. A horse was also provided to take him beyond the limits of the Manor, the free tenants of which were to accompany him with "trompets, tabourets, and other manoir of mynstralcie."