“Of everything beautiful, pleasant, and truthful! Oh, how good it is to know that we are thus assembled together, and that we have among us a Human Creature, unlike, yet so like ourselves! Oh, my dear friends! ‘Lest we forget,’ let us remember that we were all Humans once! All Humans!--all Humbugs!--and such respectable Humbugs too! Oh, my friends, let us turn our thoughts back along the tide of Time--the tide of Time is such a fine expression!--and reflect on those days--the days of frock-coats and top-hats! The days when we were GOOD!” “Ha-ha-HA! Hoo-roo! Hoo-roo!” Screams of laughter echoed through the dim space, where now, faintly discernible through a floating red vapour, the trembling Josiah caught sight of the glittering tubes of a great organ, and scarcely had he seen this when CRASH!--went the keys with a droning and discordant thunder. A hideous black scarecrow of a Goblin, waving its paws or claws about fantastically, began performing on the instrument, whereat all the impish congregation burst out yelling in chorus: “When WE were ‘good,’ in all the world None were so ‘good’ as WE; WE thought OURSELVES the only ones Whose souls would savèd BE!-- When WE were ‘good’ our neighbours all We found so very BAD, That only US, and only WE Some little Morals HAD! “When WE were ‘good,’ we went to Church, That every one might see How ‘good’ we were,--much better far Than other folks could be!-- We slandered all our dearest friends, Told all the lies we could, And chose our own front seats in Heaven, Because we were so ‘good’! “And now we find that other folks Whom we thought very BAD, Were better than OURSELVES at best, And ALL the Morals HAD! And sad to say, we’ve lived to learn, That shuffle as we would, No HUMBUG lasts in Heaven or Hell Not even--‘BEING GOOD’!” Renewed yelping, and “hoo-roos” of diabolical laughter followed this vocal effort, and the miserable Josiah McNason felt cold trickles of perspiration running down his back as he listened. Yet he could not speak. Speech for the moment was taken from him,--he tried to utter some word--some ejaculation,--but his tongue was stiffened in his mouth as though it were paralysed. And he was forced to pay close attention to the “Reverend Mr. Firebrand” whether he liked it or not. “Oh my friends!” pursued that grim and ghastly preacher--“How I thank you for that beautiful hymn! How sweetly it expresses our innermost feelings! Does it not, my friends? Oh yes, indeed it does! And our brother here--our Human brother--does it not express _his_ feelings likewise? Yes--oh yes!--indeed it does!” “Ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-HA!” shrieked the Goblins--“Indeed it does! Ha-HA!” “Our Human brother,” went on “Mr. Firebrand”--“is a ‘good’ man----” “Hoo-oo! Hoo-roo!--Hoo--oo!”