EILEEN. Then I want to say--I know your secret. You don't love
me--Isn't that it? (Murray _groans._) Sssh! It's all right, dear. You
can't help what you don't feel. I've guessed you didn't--right along.
And I've loved you--such a long time now--always, it seems. And you've
sort of guessed--that I did--didn't you? No, don't speak! I'm sure
you've guessed--only you didn't want to know--that--did you?--when you
didn't love me. That's why you were lying--but I saw, I knew! Oh, I'm
not blaming you, darling. How could I--never! You mustn't look so--so
frightened. I know how you felt, dear. I've--I've watched you. It was
just a flirtation for you at first. Wasn't it? Oh, I know. It was just
fun, and---- Please don't look at me so. I'm not hurting you, am I? I
wouldn't for worlds, dear--you know--hurt you! And then afterwards--you
found we could be such good friends--helping each other--and you wanted
it to stay just like that always, didn't you?--I know--and then I had
to spoil it all--and fall in love with you--didn't I? Oh, it was
stupid--I shouldn't--I couldn't help it, you were so kind and--and
different--and I wanted to share in your work and--and everything. I
knew you wouldn't want to know I loved you--when you didn't--and I
tried hard to be fair and hide my love so you wouldn't see--and I did,
didn't I, dear? You never knew till just lately--maybe not till just
to-day--did you?--when I knew you were going away so soon--and couldn't
help showing it. You never knew before, did you? Did you?
MURRAY (_miserably_). No. Oh, Eileen--Eileen, I'm so sorry!
EILEEN (_in heart-broken protest_). Sorry? Oh, no, Stephen, you mustn't
be! It's been beautiful--all of it--for me! That's what makes your
going--so hard. I had to see you to-night--I'd have gone--crazy--if I
didn't know you knew, if I hadn't made you guess. And I thought--if you
knew about my writing to Fred--that--maybe--it'd make some difference.
(Murray _groans--and she laughs hysterically._) I must have been
crazy--to think that--mustn't I? As if that could--when you don't love
me. Sshh! Please! Let me finish. You mustn't feel sad--or anything.
It's made me happier than I've ever been--loving you--even when I did
know--you didn't. Only now--you'll forgive me telling you all this,
won't you, dear? Now, it's so terrible to think I won't see you any
more. I'll feel so--without anybody.
MURRAY (_brokenly_). But I'll--come back. And you'll be out soon--and
then----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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