"To-morrow," she said, firmly, but kindly. She was a charming woman,
whose name she gave me as Soeur Marie.
We strolled back to the hospital, but on the way along the Quai
Duguay-Trouin--I noticed it written up--I became again confused. My
vision was not as it should have been, and my memory seemed blurred,
even of the happenings of the past hour.
My nurse chatted as we walked together through the streets, but I
know that my answers were unintelligible. I felt I was not myself. All
my senses were keen as far as I could gauge--all save that of my
memory of the past.
As I ascended through the pretty grounds of the hospital, the Sister
beside me, I felt a curious failing of my heart. I experienced a
sensation which I cannot here describe, as of one who had lost all
interest in life, and who longed for death.
There may be some among my readers who have experienced it, perhaps. I
cannot describe it; I merely explain that I felt inert, inefficient,
and bored with life.
No such feeling had ever fallen upon me before. Hitherto I had been
quick, alert, and full of the enjoyment of living. At Rivermead
Mansions Harry Hambledon and I had prided ourselves on our post-war
alertness.
Where was Harry? What was he doing? Would he be wondering why I was
absent from our riparian bachelor home?
I was reflecting upon all this when suddenly, without any apparent
cause, I once more lost consciousness. We were at that moment entering
the door of the hospital and the Sister had just exclaimed:
"Now, do remain quite quiet and not worry over the past. It will all
be right to-morrow," she urged.
I know not what words I uttered in reply. A curious sense of
oppression had fallen upon me, a hot, burning feeling as though my
skull was filled with molten metal, while at the back of my neck was a
sharp excruciating pain which caused me to hold my breath.
The Sister apparently noticed my sudden relapse, for she expressed a
hope that I was not feeling worse. I tried to reassure her that I was
all right, but I know I failed to do so, for once again I lost all
knowledge of things about me.
After that I recollect nothing more. Probably I walked on mechanically
back to my bed.
When my lapse had passed, and I again regained consciousness, I found
myself in bed gazing up at the ceiling. On either side of me were men,
also in bed. They were talking in French.
I listened, and in a few seconds I recollected the events of the
previous day. Then a sharp-featured nurse, whom I had not seen before,
told us it was time to dress. I obeyed, but my clothes were entirely
unfamiliar. They were coarse and did not fit me.
While I washed I burst out laughing. The humour of the situation
struck me as distinctly amusing. At one hour I was myself; at the next
I was another being!
Was my case that of Jekyll and Hyde?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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