One day a would-be friend came knocking at his door. It was late on a
cold January morning and he was still in bed. He had awakened earlier in
the morning but a few stray thoughts tormented him so he turned over and
tried to forget them in sleep. Fortunately nothing but a headache
disturbed his sleep. Grief had the opposite effect on him. The day
before had been a very trying one. He had lost a few Louis d’or at
Pharo, had a quarrel with one of his comrades at Lutter and Wegner’s,
and had received an unpleasant letter from his parents. So he had stayed
up late the night before writing verses on the cruelty of fate.
As he turned in his bed a thought flashed across his brain that eternal
sleep was the greatest gift of the gods—Death! No rejected manuscripts,
no unrequited love, no debts, no asinine critics, no Hegels and
Schleiermachers, no Jews and Christians, no Prussian censors—death
surely was bliss, he determined and buried his head in his pillow. He
recalled that when he awoke he was in a very pleasant dream, and hoped
to pick up the golden threads of that fantastic web. He wondered what
had awakened him. It must have been the sounds outside. Friedrichstrasse
was becoming noisy, he was saying to himself, and he ought to change his
lodgings where his pleasant dreams would not be interrupted. He was
trying to bring back the vanished phantom. He sometimes went back to
sleep and resumed the dream at the point left off, like a story given in
instalments.
Confound that noise outside! Albert was vexed with Friedrichstrasse,
with the mob that never respected the sensibilities of a poet, with
those clattering hoofs—why could not such heavy treading beasts have
rubber hoofs? Rubber—a Pharo wheel—a girl’s face—the girl was beating
a drum—it was deafening . . .
He rose with a sudden start and blasphemous ejaculations.
“Who is there? What do you want?” he demanded in a high pitched voice.
He remembered that he had forgotten to bolt his door, so he shouted
again, “Open the door and tell me what you want!”
“A man wants to see you—”
“This early? What does he want? Who is he?”
“I told him you were asleep but he would not leave. He said he must see
you; and, besides, he said you had no business to be asleep at eleven
o’clock—”
“What business is that of his?” Albert shouted. “Tell the impudent fool
I won’t see him—”
The landlady laughed blandly. She knew her lodger, and there was but a
step between his uncontrollable wrath and overflowing tenderness.
His features softened. Hegel’s lectures came punctually at two and he
did not want to miss that. It was not so much that he wished to hear
what the philosopher had to say—Hegel had been repeating the same thing
in the past ten lectures—but he loved to watch the Professor’s
grotesque movements and the peculiar contortions of his wrinkled face. A
classmate next to him was making interesting caricatures of the
Professor while he was lecturing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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