Ah, there was again spring in his heart! Sentiments of love and freedom,
like fresh roses, burst forth anew. Above him the rays of the brilliant
sun pierced the mist hanging over the mountains and “sucked at the
earth’s breast like a hungry suckling child.” He was again in the spring
of life, everything thawing, melting, sweet murmurs everywhere. He was
in love with life and every breathing creature.
And the arts of man were about him in abundance; the divine ecstasy of
generations long dead impressed on palace and ruin; ecstasy filled his
being to overflowing. No, not a tinge of bitterness in his heart, no
acrid irony in his brain, nothing but goodwill and happiness and the
effervescence of life.
VI.
But one day in November a gust of wind swept over him; a cold, damp,
bleak wind that blighted the blooming flowers in his heart and covered
the sun rays with a black cloud and filled his heart with sadness. No
more hope for a chair at a university, no prospect of a life of
contemplation and peace and song. The Jesuits had stronger influence
than his friends. And as if designing to annihilate him completely the
Jesuits had attacked him with all their forces.
His third volume was nearly completed when the latest affront reached
him. He had quite forgotten his Hebraic strain. In the land of Virgil,
with the echo of Homer from the neighboring shores, he thought himself
more Greek than Hebrew, but suddenly the evaporated fumes of his
smouldering agony were driven back into his heart. He was consumed by a
thirst for vengeance. Since his enemies would not let him forget his
Hebraism he would be like the God of the ancient Hebrews. No whining,
cowering for him! Even as the Macabees of old, his progenitors, he would
meet the enemy with piercing arrows and devastating rocks. He was no
preacher of love for those that hated him; hate for hate! There was
scornful laughter in his heart. His enemies—the Preachers of Love—had
hated even those who loved them!
He was then in Florence, that dreary November day, the skies
a-drizzling, thick mist screening the banks of the Arno, a severe cold
in his head. He had spent six weeks, rambling, dreaming, drinking from
the fountain of beauty. With all the quaint narrow streets, the art
treasures around him, the buildings mellowed with age, his imagination
astir with a thousand memories of antiquity, a thousand raptures to
enthrall his soul, his romantic love for Catholic mysticism returned,
the slumbering sensuous love he felt in his childhood. Even while he
smiled at the faded Madonnas and was provoked to laughter by the hideous
saints of early Tuscan conception his heart glowed with reverence and
deep emotion. But that day only rancor filled his heart.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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