He left his lodgings and wandered along the bank of the Arno, unmindful
of the cold and the pain in his head. The water of the flowing river did
not reflect the azure of the Italian skies. The drizzling rain had
stirred the placid surface and, like his heart, was turgid and muddy.
Nothing was beautiful around him now. All was grim. For not only woman’s
beauty but all beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. He wished to think
of other things—he said to himself he would dismiss the “filth and
stupidity” of the “congregation” at Munich—but his brain would admit no
other thought. But for his birthright—or was it his birth-curse?—he
would have been now on his way to assume the duties of a professor of
literature and devote the rest of his life to his beloved fatherland. He
shuddered, then a cynical smile appeared on his tightly closed mouth. He
remembered that morning at the Franciscan school, when he revealed to
Christian Lutz the fact that his father’s father had been a little Jew
with long whiskers. Every time the world recalled that revelation there
was a mob to jeer at him and a Father Scher to shower blows upon him!
He continued along the bank, one moment serious, his eyes closed, the
next moment a strange smile on his lips.
When he reached the Ponte Grazie and made his way across the little
stone bridge toward the Uffizi, his heart felt lightened. He saw the
sublime jest of life; everybody laughing at everybody else. The world
was a great lazaretto where every suffering inmate was laughing at the
infirmities of the other. Was he not himself a suffering patient mocking
the other patients? The irony of it all amused him and made him forget
the drizzling rain and the pain in his head.
Presently a priest passed him, a sorry spectacle of a man; pale,
emaciated, bent, his bony hands quivering, his lips muttering something.
The poor fellow had spent so much time in praying that his lips moved
even when not at prayer. What a face! All the pains and sorrows that
human flesh was heir to were mirrored in it. Albert’s heart was wrung
with pity; there was no mockery in his heart. No, he would not even
reply to the attacks of his enemies. Love those that hate you! He now
understood that sublime utterance. The great Jew of Galilee must have
understood the jest of life, and when one understands one can only pity,
not mock.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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