As he thought of the princess a smile passed over his face. People were
gossiping about his being in love with her. He could no more be in love
with her than he could have been in love with Rahel. No, he could not be
in love with anybody any more . . . He sighed disconsolately. No wonder
the heights of Parnassus had been denied him in the past two years. Love
and song were no longer for him. . .
In despair he wandered through the streets, frequently touching and
fondling the numb fingers of his left hand with those of his right. He
sought to dissipate his sorrow in motion. Pretty women walked past him
but he glanced at them with trepidation. He saw their beauty but could
feel no inner thrill. Yes, the glow of life was fast ebbing away from
him. Youth and love and song were all dead in his heart.
He had reached the Porte St. Martin and turned into a side street. He
wished to be alone, in a street less frequented by the young and gay.
The sight of the young and gay around him was too tantalizing. He was
brooding. Such was the irony of life. No sooner had he begun to enjoy
life than life began to flee. Was not that the allegory of Moses on
Mount Nebo?
Like another Faust—nay, like another _Koheleth_, the Preacher—Albert
mused on the vanities and uselessness of life. It is only he whose eyes
penetrate behind the scenes of life that can scoff and cry _Havel
havolim_, vanity of vanities; and one’s eyes scarcely ever penetrate the
mystery of life until one is about ready to relinquish it. In the heart
of a forest one does not see the forest. “I have seen all the works that
are done under the sun; and, behold, all is vanity and vexation of
spirit.”
Ah, indeed, every man must write his own Faust as he must brood over his
own Ecclesiastes! Albert had often said this to himself and friends, and
he now understood the full import of his saying. Like all true
humorists, he passed quickly from mirth to sadness. There was nothing in
life for him any longer, and it did not matter if he could only go to
his lodging, fall asleep, and never wake again.
He was making his way blindly through the quiet street, oblivious to
everything about him, when his ears caught the humming of a street song,
the snatch of a song which was then popular in Paris and played by every
hurdy-gurdy. He raised his eyes and beheld a young girl, perhaps
seventeen or eighteen years old, standing in the doorway of a little
shop, her hands stuck in the pockets of a white apron over her black
skirt. There was the gleam of a cheerful smile on her comely
countenance, and as he raised his eyes she stopped humming the song and
looked at him with the candor and shyness of a child.
He was about to continue his walk when he remembered that he needed a
pair of shoes, which were less costly on the side streets than on the
Boulevards. He halted, hesitated, took a step back, and entered the shoe
shop; the girl turned on her heel and followed him in.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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