Youth lives in the future, middle age in the present, old age in the
past, but Albert Zorn, though still in his early middle life, and in the
greatest vigor of his mentality, found himself nursing memories of the
past. Instead of dwelling upon the present or the future he was now
constantly brooding over the blunders in the days gone by, living over
again the moments of ecstasy, and of passion, long vanished, musing upon
experiences that could never enter his life again. Never a man of
action—his battles were only strifes of ideas—he reached the stage
when no one would take up his challenges. For it was in the middle of
the nineteenth century when there came a lull in the struggle of ideas.
After every sharp world conflict there comes a momentary pause, a
lethargical rest, while man gathers strength for the next combat.
Recently there had been so many clashes of ideas, irreconcilable ideas,
that for the moment no one cared what the other thought.
In spite of his growing fame Albert was living in a modest quarter in
Paris, just he and his Marguerite, as simply as the humblest of workmen,
and worked indefatigably. He wrote poems, the finest fruits of his pen,
he discussed on philosophical themes, with keener insight than the
obtuse pedants who passed for philosophers; he made political
observations, with clearer vision than those whom the world called
statesmen. But his enemies—and all his antagonists were his
enemies—clamored loud enough to drown his voice. Being a radical among
the conservatives and a conservative among radicals his enemies had no
difficulty in confusing the masses as to the meaning of his words. The
enemies of clear thinking and right living have always seen to it that
the masses should fail to understand those that come to their aid. Ah,
the masses, he murmured under his breath, the masses have always
unwittingly stoned those who came to redeem them!
Spring came again, spring in Paris. The sky was clear and blue; blossoms
dazzled in the morning sunshine; delicious fragrance wafted from the
distant fields. Spring always brought melancholy thoughts to Albert’s
mind, and his thoughts this spring were even more melancholy. For
paralysis had spread from his left hand to the whole left side and he
could hardly move without acute pain. However, the more he suffered the
harder he worked because the intensity of creative word deadened his
pain, but when the effort was spent the reaction was all the greater.
One late afternoon he settled at an open window, with his eyes almost
closed, dreams of old songs in his brain. He was tired and, leaning in
an arm-chair, he rested, feeling as if an iron hoop was around his head
and through its tight embrace all his thoughts and ideas had been put to
sleep. Gradually all the sweet memories of the past—and even his past
great sorrows were now sweet memories to him—came back to him. He let
his mind wander . . .
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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