Presently Marguerite stood before him. Her approaching steps irritated
him. Only the other day he had jested about the blessing of his growing
blindness—it spared him the sight of Marguerite getting fat! Fat women
had always offended his sense of beauty and even now he could not bear
the thought that his Marguerite—the slim pretty girl he had first
known—was tipping the scale at two hundred pounds. No wonder, that
spendthrift had of late thought of nothing but rich food and gaudy
clothes. And now while her Albert, nothwithstanding his paralysis, was
laboring all day with his pen to provide her wants, she was only
thinking of many course dinners and pretty dresses. He had pretended not
to notice this. He wished to banish unhappy broodings—his life was
unhappy enough without tormenting thoughts.
“Who was that girl?” she asked.
“Oh, some friend sent her here,” he replied perfunctorily. “In the
absence of my secretary she might be of some service to me. She is quite
proficient in both French and German.”
“She is quite chic—that girl——”
For a bare second he made no rejoinder. He seemed to hold his breath.
Then he said, with evident constraint, “Rather amiable—and bright.”
The next moment he heard her making her toilette preparatory to going
out. She was always going out, he was saying to himself with increased
irritability. In the past few years this thought frequently crossed his
mind, only to be brushed away by a counterthought of sympathy for his
poor wife, chained to a corpse. He pitied her, his martyr.
Presently as he heard her splashing in the next room, talking loudly to
the nurse, and laughing lustily, his irritation grew. He was vexed and
angry. He wondered whom she was going to meet. She usually stayed away
hours—sometimes almost the whole day—and when he pressed her for an
explanation she would burst in tears and say that after she had walked
blocks and blocks in order to save cabfare he ill-treated her; and then
he would call himself a brute and would reprimand her for her
niggardliness. No, he did not want his devoted wife to wear her legs off
for the sake of a couple of francs; for even though he was paralyzed he
was working and earning as much as many an able-bodied man, he added
boastfully.
This moment he was sure that she had always lied to him. She was having
secret rendezvous. No, no, he was not jealous. A paralyzed man, with a
wasted body, could hardly compete with half a million able-bodied men in
Paris! he would say to himself cynically. Ah! he did not care whom she
was going to meet if she only did not laugh so boisterously. He could
not bear that booming, loud laughter of hers coming now from the
adjoining room.
He was annoyed beyond words. No wonder the young visitor who had just
left had mistaken Marguerite for a servant.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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