Kingston could never bring himself to feel that Isabel--the real
Isabel, as distinct from the body she had worn--was dead; he knew that
she still lived, somewhere, somehow; he felt it in every fibre of his
life; every nerve vibrated with the knowledge that somewhere, in some
remote corner of the world, that lost half of himself was still alive.
As the years passed his ideas, instead of growing fainter, grew keener,
more fixed, more certain. He lived in mysterious expectation of a call,
the sound of a voice he should recognise, some hint that Isabel had
come back, that their paths through the world had crossed again. Sooner
or later the call would come; it was impossible that it should not.
He and Isabel were so close together; accidents like physical death
could not be any permanent barrier. As the time went by he grew more
and more sure that the call must come soon. Each day he hoped that the
sign might be shown to-morrow, and, deep in his heart, listened in
every conversation for the sound of Isabel’s voice, and looked in every
face for a memory of Isabel’s. Meanwhile he lived out his placid life,
friends with all, popular, suspected no longer of any eccentricities.
The gentle, managing woman at his side had never any notion that
her husband was cherishing such fantastic hopes. To her he had long
been, in reality, a stranger, a stranger very dearly loved, and very
faithfully looked after, but a stranger none the less, as are so many
of us to those who love us best.
As for Isabel, if Gundred ever recalled her name now, it was with
a feeling of wrath that grew steadily towards hatred. Isabel stood
for the one moment in which Gundred had faltered, in which she had
not been sure of herself. Isabel was a painful memory, not only as
recalling that far-off period of unrest, but also as raking back
into recollection that one awful instant in which Gundred’s courage
had failed her--with results so disastrous for poor Isabel. Had the
results not been quite so disastrous for Isabel, Gundred could better
perhaps have borne the recollection. As it was, they convicted her
of inadequacy, and touched her secret pride in its tender point. She
pushed such horrid reflections far back in the most private cupboards
of her consciousness, and hated Isabel anew whenever accident compelled
her to open the locked doors and turn over those dreadful bones of her
one failure.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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