Gundred was left alone, feeling solitude as she had very rarely felt
it in her life before. This intruder had destroyed the harmony of her
home, had blighted her relations with her submissive subjects, had
sapped loyalty, filial piety and honour in the hearts of all who owed
her duty. This influence was altogether evil, and must be defeated
without loss of another day. It was a blessed work this that Heaven
had appointed her to do, and it must be done briskly, whole-heartedly,
without any lookings-back from the plough, or weaknesses of any kind.
Gundred began to revolve measures, and plans at last grew definite in
her mind. She faced her course of action boldly. Ivor must be got rid
of--somehow, anyhow. _Qui veut la fin, veut les moyens._
And at this point she suddenly grew frightened. This road that she was
treading, into what grim and stony places would it lead her? Gundred,
for the first time in her life, began to feel afraid of herself. The
intense fire of the righteous passion that consumed her, well, it was
alarming, although it was so righteous. So righteous? A very faint
flicker of hesitation dawned in Gundred’s mind. _Was_ this passion of
hers so righteous? It was carrying her, she felt, toward actions that
sooner or later might be dark and dreadful; all the more important,
then, to make sure beforehand that it was an inspiration of Heaven,
not, by any chance, a temptation from Hell. Hitherto Gundred had never
doubted that the Almighty had created her for a shining instance of
the soul which is temptation-proof; now, however, she began to waver
in her belief that she, alone of mortal beings, was set above the
wiles of evil. After all, she was human; it was just barely imaginable
that this uplifting ardour that she felt might proceed from the
Powers of darkness rather than from those of light. That anger and
hatred are often laudable she knew well, but this anger and hatred
of hers were so devastating, so tyrannous that she could not, in all
candour, feel herself absolutely certain of their celestial origin. She
felt, as she pondered the matter, that she was indeed showing proper
conscientiousness, an almost unworthy tenderness towards that Amalekite
of an enemy; but the question was so important, so much hung on it,
that no labour could be wasted in making sure as to the rights and
wrongs of the case.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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