Dodge City (Kan.) -- Fiction; Masterson, Bat, 1853-1921 -- Fiction; Western stories
“But you mustn’t shoot,” warned Cimarron, as he brought the weapon.
“When he shows up, tell him to pull his freight. An’ if he hesitates,
sort o’ take to menacin’ at him with the gun. But don’t shoot none;
Bat’s gettin’ that partic’ler he wouldn’t stand it.”
The composed manners of both Rattlesnake and Cimarron worked upon the
credulity of Miss Barndollar. In the face of so much confidence it was
difficult to doubt. Still, she cross-questioned Cimarron when she found
him alone on the Wright House porch.
“Be you shore,” she asked, “that Rattlesnake’s laig’ll come right? Which
if it’s out o’ plumb when he’s cured, I’ll shorely make you hard to
find!”
“Rattlesnake’s laig,” returned Cimarron, reassuringly, “will eemerge
from them splints as straight as Luke Short’s deal box, an’ said
implement of faro-bank has allers been reckoned the straightest thing in
town. You need give yoursel’f no oneasiness, Calamity.”
“Which I’ll take your word,” responded Miss Barndollar. “But if that
laig ain’t all that heart could wish, I’ll keep you plenty oneasy for
the balance of your days!”
Mr. Masterson, when given word of the matter, was somewhat troubled by
Cimarron’s unlooked for début in the field of surgery. Like Miss
Barndollar, Mr. Masterson asked questions.
“Did you ever set anybody’s leg before?” he inquired.
“Did I ever set any sport’s laigs before!” retorted Cimarron Bill, with
a yawn of careless indifference. “I’ve set twenty cows’ laigs, an’
what’s the difference? Thar’s nothin’ to the play. It’s as easy as
fittin’ together the two ends of a broken stick, with your eyes shet. Of
course them doctor sharps raise the long yell about it bein’ difficult,
aimin’ tharby to bluff you out o’ your bankroll.”
Upon his arrival next day, the sappy one was much confounded to find his
patient propped up in bed, smoking a bad cigar. His confusion was
increased when the patient drew a Colt’s-45 from beneath the blankets,
surveying him the while with a loathely scowl. The sappy one thought
that Rattlesnake Sanders had added insanity to a broken leg. This theory
was strengthened when the forbidding Rattlesnake waved him from the room
with his weapon. The sappy one went; he said that he loved his art, but
not well enough to attempt its practice within point-blank range of a
hostile six-shooter. When the sappy one found himself again in the
street, Jack, who, although the _Weekly Planet_ had been dead for
months, was still beset of all the instincts of a newsmaker, laid bare
to him the interference of Cimarron Bill in the affairs of that
fractured leg. The sappy one waxed exceedingly bitter, and spoke freely
of Cimarron Bill.
“He called you an empiric,” said Jack, relating the strictures of the
sappy one to Cimarron an hour later.
“A what?”
“An empiric.”
“Spell it,” and Cimarron drew a deep, resentful breath.
“E-m-p-i-r-i-c.”
“Whatever does it mean?”
“It means a four-flush,” said Jack, who was liberal in definitions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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