British -- France -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Riviera (France) -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
Just because Ermengarde's head ached and she had fallen into a vein
of pleasing melancholy and wanted to think things out in the
firelight that afternoon, people came trooping in, all breathing
visible breath and complaining of the fog, each alluding to its
density, dirt and inconvenience, as if it were an entirely new and
startling experience, peculiar to each separate individual.
An elderly woman in costly sables had to sit and cough in a corner
for five solid minutes before she was capable of receiving or
imparting instructions in the natural history of fog. She was going,
she said, when able to speak, to try a winter in Algiers. The sooner
she began to try the better, Ermengarde thought. A ruddy John Bull
friend was off to Hyères--or Cannes--he was not sure which--for golf;
a grey retired general, purple from semi-asphyxiation, was bound for
the same place for the same reason. People were going to San Remo,
to Alassio, to Bordighera, to Nice, to Biarritz, to Davos, chiefly,
to judge from their remarks, to find congenial British society and
avoid foreigners--especially Germans. Somebody was going to motor to
Rome, thence through Florence, Venice and Dalmatia, going on to
Athens, and taking Buda-Pesth, Innspruck, the Tyrol, the Black
Forest, Belgium and Holland on the return journey; "that is, if we
ever do return," one of the party thoughtfully observed. Hotels,
routes, the vexatiousness of Customs, the iniquitous slowness of
Continental trains, the wholesale plundering of baggage in the native
land of brigands, and the drawbacks of foreign cookery and
sanitation, were discussed and illustrated by personal experience,
until Ermengarde felt that she had been everywhere and there was
nowhere in particular to go to, though she was longing to go there
again.
"I should like a little sun," she said plaintively at dinner;
whereupon Arthur observed, with the jocular and banal brutality of
his kind, that he should prefer a little daughter, and that their
Charlie was quite handful enough, and Ermengarde returned haughtily
that people should be above chestnuts, especially when they were Joe
Millers.
Then, prompted by some malicious demon, Arthur asked if she would
like some more hats, and Ermengarde rejoined that of all ill
propensities incidental to fallen humanity she especially disliked
nagging.
Arthur looked frowningly on a table-centre, nicely embroidered in
gold by one of His Majesty's Oriental subjects, and silence reigned
till dessert.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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