British -- France -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Riviera (France) -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
Not knowing this, she drew the inference that something in her
appearance incited public hostility. The whole of her hair was grown
upon the premises; there she was founded on rock, impregnable. But,
before retiring to rest after _déjeuner_, she had availed herself of
the convenience of Hinde's curlers. Could she have left any in?
What is all the beauty of the Riviera--or of all the world--to a
woman who, through inadvertence or the malice of demons, finds
herself dining publicly in Hinde's curlers? Or had that horrible
fastened-behind blouse come undone again? Was there a smut on her
nose? Had she contracted a sudden squint from excessive fatigue?
People had been known to do so. Perhaps her features resembled those
of some notorious, and probably improper, woman. Or she had suddenly
broken out into a rash--she felt her cheeks burning--and people
thought her infectious, and that was why the woman of substance,
instead of passing the salt, only glared at her and drew her
impeccable skirts away from contact with hers.
Having reduced the waiter, who happened to be an Italian, to the
verge of imbecility by demanding salt of him in this same German
tongue, and aggravated his confusion by a further request for bread,
in reply to which he brought mustard, pepper, and lemons in
succession, she was at last rescued by the thin man, who, divining
her wants by the light of reason and supplying them, plaintively
explained the waiter's nationality and ignorance of German from
behind the stocks, which he pushed aside, suspecting that they
concealed a better view.
Amply rewarded by a smile and a "_Danke sehr_," the thin man ventured
upon a hope that the donkey-ride had turned out better than it looked.
"How it looked I don't know," she said, "but it couldn't possibly
have looked worse than it felt," and was met by the cheerful
assurance that the anguish of riding donkeys up stone stairs was
nothing to the torture of riding them down. Then, cheered by the
persuasion that the thin man could appreciate beauty, even with a
smut on its nose or curlers in its hair, she drew from him that he
had already spent a couple of weeks at Les Oliviers, and asked what
kind of weather had prevailed, and how far they were from shops, in
her native tongue, until a bowl of salad travelling in the rear of a
dish of chicken came to a dead stop near the woman of substance,
whereupon terror of the latter's disapproving eye threw her back to
the brain-fold in which her German was located, and she meekly asked
for the salad in that tongue.
"I suppose you mean salad," was the severe reply that accompanied the
plumping of the bowl on the table by her side. "You seem to speak
English fairly well. Where did you pick up that accent?"
"I--I really don't know," she faltered. "I didn't know I had an
accent. But I came quite honestly by it," she added hastily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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