British -- France -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Riviera (France) -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
Nor did Ermengarde lightly dismiss from memory her own joy and
fatigue in making that tea with her own hands, and for the first
time, over a complicated and expensive new patent spirit-lamp,
expressly devised to boil a minimum of water with a maximum of peril,
inconvenience, and delay. A serious initial difficulty in lighting
the lamp was presently overcome by the discovery that there was no
spirit in it. A little of this, after some deliberation and delay,
was borrowed of Miss Boundrish's mother. "But on no account tell
Dorris," the latter implored; "she don't like lending things." The
second difficulty of the kettle not boiling was surmounted after
finding that it had no water--a circumstance which nearly resulted in
burning a hole in it--by ringing the bell not more than five times
for water of unimpeachable purity. The kettle at last having been
filled, boiled over during a long and futile search for the tea,
several parcels of which had been artfully mislaid in improbable
portions of wearing apparel with the guileful purpose of evading
douaniers and defrauding the French Republic of revenue. At last the
brilliant idea of following up the trail of those packets, that had
burst and peppered priceless raiment with black dust and broken
stalks, resulted in their discovery. No matter how widely friends at
home had differed in their advice to those about to travel, all had
agreed that as much tea as the regulations by utmost stretching
permitted, besides as much again as that, must be carried in every
separate parcel and trunk, with the result that Ermengarde, finding
little use during her travels for the tea upon which she had
squandered so much substance, and incidentally making all her things
smell like a grocer's shop, furtively shed small packets of it all
across the Continent on her return home, in vague terror of incurring
mysterious pains and penalties by secreting so much contraband.
"Is it refreshing?" she asked, when at last, flushed with triumph and
heat, and smudged with lamp-black, besides having burnt her hand in a
spirit-flare, she handed the precious beverage in an enamelled tin
mug without a saucer. She would not have had a saucer for the world;
it would have spoilt the whole thing.
"It's--very--hot," gasped the recipient, with watering eyes and a
look of deep anguish.
"It's a very special tea," Ermengarde said impressively, watching the
sufferer's agonies with complacence.
"Very special," sighed the victim; "most special."
"I got it myself, from a woman whose cousin married a tea-planter.
He sends her a chest every now and then to sell to intimate friends
to pay for Church work," Ermengarde continued, with intense
satisfaction. "That accounts for the remarkable flavour."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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