This question was asked so frequently on board of a boat, recently, that those who didn't know became quite feverish, and those who did, kept dark to watch for a joke. Sol. had purchased a new hat--venerably broad in brim, of saintly and unostentatious height in crown, and it was easy to see that this new beaver was brewing him trouble. We feel almost inclined here to go into a disquisition upon hats, and the evils they have entailed, for who has not suffered, and been thrust out of the pale of good living, or cut in the street--or taken for a loafer, and asked by some dandy to hold his horse, or by some matron to carry home her market basket, and all because of a “shocking bad hat.” An “old hat” is, in fact, dangerous--so is a new one of a peculiar shape--so was Sol.'s broad brimmer. On board the steamer was a Mormon sister, on her way from down east to the holy city of Nauvoo, and many and anxious were her inquiries if any brother of the church was on board? None were able to inform her. At length the captain, at table, inquired: “Shall I help you to a little of this roast beef, Mr. Smith?” “Thank you, a small piece,” was the reply. “Smith,” said the sister, “Smith, that's a member, jest as shure as shutin'; I'll get interduced tu him arter a spell, and I reckon he'll turn eout tu be a shure enough brother.” “Arter a spell” she did, through the kindness of the captain, get an introduction to him, and was previously informed by the commander, that Sol. was not only a shure enough Mormon, but an elder--in fact a Smith! Sol., as usual, was courteous and affable as when introduced to little Vic., at the court of St. James, and the sister was “tickled all tu death” at the idea of falling in with so pleasant an elder. She was a little ancient, but buxom, and Sol. felt flattered by her singling him out for an acquaintance. “I'd a know'd in a minit that you was a member of the church by your countenance and your hat, Brother Smith, you do look so saintly.” “Yes, Ma'm,” answered he, “most people take me for a member.” “I was a thinkin' if you hadn't chosen a--he-he-he--a sister, why--“--Puge 69. “There's ony one thing, Brother Smith, which appears rayther queer about our church,” said she, looking modestly at Sol., and biting the corner of her handkerchief, “and that's the 'new system' they have interduced.” “Why, yes,--y-e-s,” said Sol., at fault, “'new systems' do trouble the church a good deal.” “Law, Brother Smith, do you think the 'speritual system' a trouble?” “Well, no, not exactly, if it's a good spiritual teaching,” answered he, “it's only the false doctrines that are evil.” “Well, that's jest what Elder Adams sed down in eour parts, and he ses that it was speritually revealed tu the Prophet Joseph, your brother, and I was jest a thinkin',” and here she spread her handkerchief over her face, and twisted her head to one side--“I was a thinkin' if you hadn't chosen a--he-he-he!--a sister, why,”----- [Illustration: 0281]