The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and CharacterRobb, John S.
General
The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and Character
Robb, John S.
Southwest, Old -- Social life and customs
After the meeting adjourned three cheers were given for Hoss Allen, and
all parties gathered into the bar to take a little _fluid_, and discuss
the speech. Edwards having now been relieved from durance, started
for Hoss;--burning inside with choler and smarting exteriorly from
mosquito-bites,--he looked bitter.
“Do you say you don't know me, Judge Allen?” inquired he.
Hoss looked steadily at him, then coolly taking out his spectacles,
he wiped the glasses, adjusted them upon his nose, and surveyed the
questioner from head to foot, he then remarked:
“Thar is somethin' about your voice, and the clothes you ware, that
I ought to know--Jedge Eddards wore a coat and kerseys exactly like
your'n, but I'll swar he had a better lookin' face than you carry when
we parted yesterday mornin'. If you are him you're been the wust used
candidate I've seed in an age.”
“Yes,” responded Edwards, “thanks to that d--n nigger that sent me
into the swamp. I tell you sir that I have passed a night to which the
infernal regions are a scant pattern, and between mosquitoes, wolves,
and wild-cats I should not be surprised if my hair had turned grey.”
“I begin to re-cognise you, now, Jedge,” said Hoss, in a sympathetic
tone, “and no wonder I didn't know you at first sight--your head is
swelled as big as a _pumkin!_ I'll do the clean thing, Jedge,” said
Hoss, starting for the balcony, “I'll apologise afore the boys, publicly,
for not knowin' you.”
“No, no!” shouted Edwards, who knew his apology would only place his
night's adventure in a more ridiculous light, “I don't demand any
apology.” But he was too late, Hoss had already called the attention of
the crowd.
“Boys,” said he, “as an honourable man who finds himself in the wrong, I
am bound to apologise, publicly, to my friend Jedge Eddards,--the Jedge
is a leetle changed in appearance since we wur last together, and I did
not re-cognise him; I, tharfore, ask his pardon fur orderin' him off the
ground.”
“I grant it!” shouted Edwards, glad here to wind up the apology, then
turning round he added, “come boys, let us drink good friends.”
“Wait a minit, boys,” said Hoss, “the Jedge and I havin' smoothed that
little marter over, I jest want to tell you why I didn't know him at
fust sight. You all know that the mosquitoes in cedar swamp are an
oreful hungry breed, and when they git a passenger they present him with
numerous 'relief bills;' well I had gained considerable popularity in
that swamp, by presentin' their condition before the legislatur' and
askin' for reliet for the distressed inhabitants,--the Jedge, to head
me down thar, passed all last night on a limb of one of the trees makin'
stump speeches to the varmints, and you can see by his countenance that
expectin' to be elected he has accepted all their _mosquito bills!_”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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