The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and CharacterRobb, John S.
General
The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and Character
Robb, John S.
Southwest, Old -- Social life and customs
I assured her that her surmise was correct, and pressed her to cease
talking and compose herself. She would not do it, however, but demanded
to see the medicine I was giving her. I produced the Arkansas Fitifuge,
and as it was near the time that she should take a dose, I poured one
out and gave it to her. Receiving it at first with evident disgust, with
great reluctance she forced herself to drink a small quantity. I saw
pleasure and surprise lighting up her countenance; she drank a little
more--looked at me--took another sip--and then, as if to test it by the
other senses, applied it to her nose, and shaking the glass applied it
to her ear; all the results were satisfactory, and she drank it to the
dregs without a murmur.
“Doctor,” said she, “ef you're a mineral fissishun, and this truck has
got calomy in it, you needn't be afeard of salavatin me, and stop givin'
it, for I wont git mad ef my gums is a leetle touched!”
I assured her that the “Fitifuge” was perfectly harmless.
“It's monstrus pleasant truck, ennyhow! What did you say was the name of
it?”
“Arkansas Fitifuge, madam, one of the best medicaments for spasmodic
diseases that I have ever used. You were in fits last night when I
arrived; but you see the medicine is effecting a cure, and you are now
out of danger, although extreme quietude is highly necessary.”
“Doctor, will you give me a leetle more of the truck? I declare, it's
monstrous pleasant. Doctor, I'm mity nar-vous, ginerally; don't you
think I'd better take it pretty often through the day? Ef they'd sent
for you sooner I woodent bin half as bad off. But, thank the Lord, you
has proved a kapable fissishun, sent to me in the hour of need, an' I
wont complane, but trust in a mersyful Saveyur!”
“How do you feel now, sister Jimsey? do you think you're looking up this
morning?” was now asked by the lady of screech-owl memory.
“Oh, sister Ripson, thank the Lord, I do feel a power better this
mornin', an' I think in the course of a day or two I will be able to get
about agen.”
“Well, mersyful Master, wonders will never stop! las nite I thot
sure you cuddent stand it till mornin, speshully arter I heerd
the screech-owl holler! 'tis a mirrykul, sure, or else this is the
wonderfulest doctor in creashun!”
“Did the screech-owl holler mor'n wunst, sister Ripson?”
“No, he only screached wunst! Ef he'd hollered the second time, I'd
defide all the doctors in the created wurld to 'ad cured you; the
thing would have bin unpossible!” Now as the aforesaid screech-owl
had actually screeched twice, I must have effected an impossibility
in making the cure; but I was unwilling to disturb the old lady in her
delusion, and therefore did not inform her of that, which she would have
heard herself, had she not been highly alarmed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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