The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and CharacterRobb, John S.
General
The Swamp Doctor's Adventures in The South-West: Containing the Whole of The Louisiana Swamp Doctor; Streaks of Squatter Life; and Far-Western Scenes; In a Series of Forty-Two Humorous Southern and Western Sketches, Descriptive of Incidents and Character
Robb, John S.
Southwest, Old -- Social life and customs
Relieving myself by a satisfactory oath, I would have returned that
night, but the distance was too great for one fatigued as I was, so I
had to content myself with such accommodations as Mik's cabin afforded,
which, to one blessed like myself with the happy faculty of ready
adaptation to circumstances, was not a very difficult task.
I was surprised to perceive the change in Mik's appearance. From nearly
a giant, he had wasted to a mere huge bony frame-work; the skin of
his face clung tightly to the bones, and showed nothing of those
laughter-moving features that were wont to adorn his visage; only his
eye remained unchanged, and it had lost none of its brilliancy--the
flint had lost none of its fire.
“What on earth is the matter with you, Mik? I have never seen any one
fall off so fast; you have wasted to a skeleton--surely you must have
the consumption.”
“Do you think so, Doc? I'll soon show you whether the old bellows has
lost any of its force!” and hopping to the door, which he threw wide
open, he gave a death-hug rally to his dogs, in such a loud and piercing
tone, that I imagined a steam whistle was being discharged in my ear,
and for several moments could hear nothing distinctly.
“That will do! stop!” I yelled, as I saw Mik drawing in his breath
preparatory to another effort of his vocal strength; “I am satisfied you
have not got consumption; but what has wasted you so, Mik? Surely, you
ain't in love?”
“Love! h--ll! you don't suppose, Doc, even if I was 'tarmined to make
a cussed fool of myself, that there is any gal in the swamp that could
stand that hug, do you?” and catching up a huge bull-dog, who lay
basking himself by the fire, he gave him such a squeeze that the animal
yelled with pain, and for a few moments appeared dead. “No, Doc, it's
grief, pure sorrur, sor-rur, Doc! when I looks at what I is now and what
I used to be! Jes think, Doc, of the fust hunter in the swamp having his
sport spilte, like bar-meat in summer without salt! Jes think of a
man standin' up one day and blessing old Master for having put bar
in creation, and the next cussing high heaven and low h--ll 'cause he
couldn't 'sist in puttin' them out! Warn't it enough to bring tears to
the eyes of an Injun tater, much less take the fat off a bar-hunter?
Doc, I fell off like 'simmons arter frost, and folks as doubted me,
needn't had asked whether I war 'ceitful or not, for they could have
seed plum threw me! The bar and painter got so saucy that they'd cum to
the tother side of the bayou and see which could talk the impudentest!
'Don't you want some bar-meat or painter blanket?' they'd ask; 'bars
is monstrous fat, and painter's hide is mighty warm!' Oh! Doc, I was a
miserable man! The sky warn't blue for me, the sun war always cloudy,
and the shade-trees gin no shade for me. Even the dogs forgot me, and
the little children quit coming and asking, 'Please, Mr. Bar-Grave,
cotch me a young bar or a painter kitten.' Doc, the tears would cum in
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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