The Swoop! or, How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great Invasion — John Shaqi
The Swoop! or, How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great InvasionWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Swoop! or, How Clarence Saved England: A Tale of the Great Invasion
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Boy Scouts -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Imaginary wars and battles -- Fiction; Satire
"Well--er--pretty far. That is to say, a certain distance. In fact,
from Germany."
"I spent my summer holiday last year at Dresden. Capital place!"
"Just so. The fact is, Mr.--er--"
"Chugwater. By the way--my wife, Mrs. Chugwater."
The prince bowed. So did his aide-de-camp.
"The fact is, Mr. Jugwater," resumed the prince, "we are not here on a
holiday."
"Quite so, quite so. Business before pleasure."
The prince pulled at his moustache. So did his aide-de-camp, who seemed
to be a man of but little initiative and conversational resource.
"We are invaders."
"Not at all, not at all," protested Mr. Chugwater.
"I must warn you that you will resist at your peril. You wear no
uniform--"
"Wouldn't dream of such a thing. Except at the lodge, of course."
"You will be sorely tempted, no doubt. Do not think that I do not
appreciate your feelings. This is an Englishman's Home."
Mr. Chugwater tapped him confidentially on the knee.
"And an uncommonly snug little place, too," he said. "Now, if you will
forgive me for talking business, you, I gather, propose making some
stay in this country."
The prince laughed shortly. So did his aide-de-camp. "Exactly,"
continued Mr. Chugwater, "exactly. Then you will want some
_pied-a-terre_, if you follow me. I shall be delighted to let you
this house on remarkably easy terms for as long as you please. Just
come along into my study for a moment. We can talk it over quietly
there. You see, dealing direct with me, you would escape the
middleman's charges, and--"
Gently but firmly he edged the prince out of the room and down the
passage.
The aide-de-camp continued to sit staring woodenly at the carpet.
Reggie closed quietly in on him.
"Excuse me," he said; "talking shop and all that. But I'm an agent for
the Come One Come All Accident and Life Assurance Office. You have
heard of it probably? We can offer you really exceptional terms. You
must not miss a chance of this sort. Now here's a prospectus--"
Horace sidled forward.
"I don't know if you happen to be a cyclist, Captain--er--Graf; but if
you'd like a practically new motorbike, only been used since last
November, I can let you--"
There was a swish of skirts as Grace and Alice advanced on the visitor.
"I'm sure," said Grace winningly, "that you're fond of the theatre,
Captain Poppenheim. We are getting up a performance of 'Ici on parle
Francais,' in aid of the fund for Supplying Square Meals to Old-Age
Pensioners. Such a deserving object, you know. Now, how many tickets
will you take?"
"You can sell them to your friends, you know," added Mrs. Chugwater.
The aide-de-camp gulped convulsively.
* * * * *
Ten minutes later two penniless men groped their way, dazed, to the
garden gate.
"At last," said Prince Otto brokenly, for it was he, "at last I begin
to realise the horrors of an invasion--for the invaders."
And together the two men staggered on.
Chapter 3
ENGLAND'S PERIL
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account