Great Britain -- History -- Restoration, 1660-1688 -- Fiction
"Good-by, Mistress Phil," said he, and "Good-by, dear Ned," said I.
My father here slipping quietly out to spy up and down the gallery,
and holding the door to behind him, in that last moment I seized
Ned's hand, not knowing it was the sooty one, and whispered in his
ear: "Why will you be ever throwing _mistress_ at me, dear? Am I not
your old friend Phil?" And he: "I did but think, Phil, that so
unceremoniously visiting your chamber at night-time, which you know
is a thing I never purposed, did call for terms of address more
formal than our usage of childhood." Which before I could answer,
Sir Michael, satisfied that he was not observed, had him swiftly out
in the gallery, my door was closed for the last time that night, and
I fell weeping on the bed as if the sun should never shine again.
I slept none of that night, and much of it I wept. But, rising in
the sheer idleness of fatigue, when the dawn was well advanced, and
chancing to see my face in the mirror, I perceived that I had most
plentifully streaked and smeared a tear-wet countenance with the
blackness of the soot that had passed in our last moment together
from Ned's fingers to mine. Now my eyes and cheeks presented
doubtless a spectacle that had moved another to laughter. But from
the eyes that alone beheld the figure of ridicule that I was, the
thought of how I became so besmirched brought fresh tears, plentiful
enough, in all conscience, to have washed it clean of all the grime
that face ever carried. But I washed hands and face, and so back to
bed, where, worn out, and by this tolerably secure of Ned's evasion,
I fell asleep, nor awoke until I was roused somewhat past eight
o'clock of the morning.
Meantime to the tale of that same evasion which was, as I supposed,
well accomplished. To tell it briefly, my father bade him play the
clown as best he could, and, after his face had been cunningly
smeared with that same soot, had led him by the back stair to the
kitchen; whence, after Sir Michael had joined the soldiers eating and
drinking in the great hall, he was sent by the cook, who was in the
secret, to bear a dish of some dainty to the company. This, as
before arranged, he let fall with a great clatter, bringing Sir
Michael down upon him in pretence of anger; who did there, with many
a curse on his clumsiness, so cuff him about head and ears, that it
set all the redcoats laughing. "Silly varlet!" quoth Sir Michael,
"is the cook underhanded that such as you must be fetched from garden
and stable to spoil our meat? I warrant men are hanged for less in
these days."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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