The Tables Turned; or, Nupkins Awakened. A Socialist InterludeMorris, William
General
The Tables Turned; or, Nupkins Awakened. A Socialist Interlude
Morris, William
Socialism -- Drama
_W. J_. Well, citizen, I must say that either your estimate of yourself
is modest, or your conscience is bad, that you must take that title to
yourself! No; it _is_ a bad business, but not so bad as that. It's not
you that we're going to shoot, but a poor devil of a dog--a real dog,
with a tail, you know--who has taken to killing sheep. And I'm sorry to
say that social ethics have given me the job of shooting him. But come,
now, you shall do it for me: you used to be a great upholder of capital
punishment.
_C. N_. But what are you going to do with me, then? How are you going
to punish me?
_J. F_. Punish you? how can we punish you? who do you think is going to
do such work as that! People punish others because they like to; and we
don't like to. Once more, learn to live decently.
_G. N_. But how _am_ I to live?
_J. F_. You must work a little.
_C. N_. But what at, since you object to lawyers?
_J. F_. Look round you, friend, at the fields all yellowing for
harvest,--we will find you work to do.
_C. N_. (_Aside_: Ah, I see. This means hard labour for life, after all.
Well, I must submit. Unhappy Nupkins! _To_ FREEMAN) But who is to
employ me? You will have to find me a master; and perhaps he won't like
to employ me.
_J. F_. My friend, we no more have masters than we have prisons: the
first make the second. You must employ yourself: and you must also
employ something else.
_C. N_. What? I don't understand.
_J. F_. Mother Earth, and the traditions and devices of all the
generations of men whom she has nourished. All that is for you, Nupkins,
if you only knew it.
_C. N_. I still do not comprehend your apologue.
_J. F_. No? Well, we must put aside abstractions and get to the
concrete. What's this, citizen? (_showing a spade_.)
_C. N_. That is an instrument for effodiation.
_J. F_. Otherwise called a spade. Well, to use your old jargon,
citizen, the sentence of this court is that you do take this instrument
of effodiation, commonly called a spade, and that you do effodiate your
livelihood therewith; in other words, that you do dig potatoes and other
roots and worts during the pleasure of this court. And, to drop jargon,
since you are so badly educated our friend Robert Pinch--Mary's
husband--will show you how to do it. Is that agreed to, neighbours?
_All_. Agreed, agreed.
_W. J_. (_rather surlily_). I don't think he will get on well. Now he
knows we are not going to serve him out, he is beginning to look sour on
us for being happy. You see, he will be trying some of his old lawyers'
tricks again.
_J. F_. Well, Bill, it won't much matter. He can't hurt us; so we will
hope the best for him.
_M. P_. Should we hurt his feelings by being a little merry in his
presence now?
_J. F_. Well, I think we may risk it. Let those of you who are not too
lazy to dance, as I am, do so to the tune that sprang up at the dawn of
freedom in the days of our great-grandfathers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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