“I remember once, long ago, when you were a mite of five,” Mrs. Gale had
said in a memorable confidence, “we were staying at a hotel in
Eastbourne, and I got into conversation on the verandah with a Colonel
somebody—I forget his name—with whom we had spoken several times
before—one of those spare brown, blue-eyed men, all leather and taut
string, that wear their clothes like uniform. You see, I was born and
bred among them, dear. And we talked and we talked and I didn’t know how
the time flew, and I missed an appointment with your father in the town.
And he came and found us together—and he was very angry. It was the
only time in our lives he said an unkind word to me. It was the only
time I gave him any sort of cause for jealousy. But he really hadn’t. It
was only just the joy of talking to a gentleman again. And I couldn’t
tell him. It would have broken his dear heart.”
This was the first flashlight across her mother’s soul, and in its
illumination vanished many obscure and haunting perplexities of her
girlhood. Had Mrs. Gale lived the normal life of women, surrounded by
those that loved her, she would doubtless have gone to her grave without
revealing her inner self to living mortal. But infinite sorrow and the
weakness engendered by constant physical pain had transformed her into a
spirituality just breathing the breath of life and regarding her
daughter less as a woman than as a kindred essence from whom no secrets
could be hid. At her bedside Olivia thus learned the mystery of birth
and life and death. Chiefly the mystery of life, which appealed more to
her ardent maidenhood.
So when at last her mother faded out of existence and Olivia’s vigil was
over, she faced a world of changing values with a new set of values of
her own. She could not formulate them; but she was acutely conscious
that they were different from those of the good, honest Mr. Trivett and
the dull and honourable Mr. Fenmarch, and that to all the social circle
which these two represented they would be unintelligible. In a way, she
found herself possessed of a new calculus in which she trusted to solve
the problems which defied the simple arithmetic of the homely folk of
Medlow.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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