English fiction -- 19th century; Short stories, English
'Ah, that I can't explain; but I know this--that people who are really
good are generally the last persons to suspect it, and the moment they
become aware of it and begin to think how good they are, and how bad
everybody else is, why, somehow or other, their goodness crumbles away
and leaves only a sort of outside shell behind it. And--I'm very old,
and of course I may be mistaken--but I think (I only say I _think_,
mind) that a little girl so young as you must have some faults hidden
about her somewhere, and that perhaps on the whole she would be better
employed in trying to find them out and cure them before she attempted
to correct those of other people. And I'm sure it can't be good for any
child to be always seeing herself in a little picture, just as she likes
to fancy other people see her. Very many pretty books are written about
good little girls, and it is quite true that children may exercise a
great influence for good--more than they can ever tell, perhaps--but
only just so long as they remain natural and unconscious, and not
unwholesome little pragmatical prigesses; for then they make themselves
and other people worse than they might have been. But of course, my
dear, you never made such a mistake as that!'
Priscilla turned very red, and began to scrape one of her feet against
the other; she was thinking, and her thoughts were not at all pleasant
ones.
'Oh, fairy,' she said at last, 'I'm afraid that's just what I _did_ do.
I was always thinking how good I was and putting everybody--papa, mamma,
Alick, Betty, Aunt Margarine, Cathie, Belle, and even poor cousin
Dick--right! I have been a horrid little hateful prig, and that's why
all the jewels were rubbish. But, oh, shall I have to go on talking sham
diamonds and things all the rest of my life?'
'That,' said the fairy, 'depends entirely on yourself. You have the
remedy in your own hands--or lips.'
'Ah, you mean I needn't talk at all? But I must--sometimes. I couldn't
bear to be dumb as long as I lived--and it would look so odd, too!'
'I never said you were not to open your lips at all. But can't you try
to talk simply and naturally--not like little girls or boys in any
story-books whatever--not to "show off" or improve people; only as a
girl would talk who remembers that, after all, her elders are quite as
likely as she is to know what they ought or ought not to do and say?'
'I shall forget sometimes, I know I shall!' said Priscilla
disconsolately.
'If you do, there will be something to remind you, you know. And by and
by, perhaps, as you grow up you may, quite by accident, say something
sincere and noble and true--and then a jewel will fall which will really
be of value!'
'No!' cried Priscilla, 'no, _please_! Oh, fairy, let me off that! If I
_must_ drop them, let them be false ones to punish me--not real. I don't
want to be rewarded any more for being good--if I ever am really good!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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