The Ten Pleasures of Marriage: and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married Couple — John Shaqi
The Ten Pleasures of Marriage: and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married CoupleMarsh, A.
General
The Ten Pleasures of Marriage: and the Second Part, The Confession of the New Married Couple
Marsh, A.
Marriage
Oh, call the Bride, time will deceive us! The Semstress, Gorget-maker,
and Starcher, must be sent for, and the linnen must be bought &
ordered for the Bridegrooms shirts, the Brides smocks, Cuffs, Bands;
and handkerchifs; & do but see, the day is at an end again: my brains
are almost addle, and nothing goes forward: For M^{rs}. Smug said she
would bring linnen, and M^{rs}. Smooth laces, but neither of them both
are yet come. Run now men and maids as if the Devil were in you; and
comfort your selves, that the Bride will reward you liberally for your
pains.
Well, M^{rs}. Bride, how's your head so out of order! might not you
now do (as once a Schoolmaster did) hang out the sign of a troubled
pate with a Crown upon it? How glad you'l be when this confusion is
once over? could you ever have thought that there was so much work to
be found in it? But comfort your self therewith, that for these few
troublesom daies, you'l have many pleasant nights. And it is not your
case alone, to be in all this trouble, for the Bridegroom is running
up and down like a dog, in taking care that the Banns of Matrimony may
be proclaim'd. And now he's a running to and again through the City,
to see if he can get Bridemen to his mind, that are capacitated to
entertain the Bridemaids and Gentlewomen with pretty discourses,
waiting upon them, & to make mirth & pleasure for them and the rest of
the Company. Besides that he's taking care for the getting of some
good _Canary_, _Rhenish_ & _French_ Wines, that those friends which
come to wish the Bride and Bridegroom much joy, may be presented with
a delicate glass of Wine. And principally, that those who are busie
about the Brides adornments, may tast the Brides tears.
But really friends, if you come to tast the Brides tears now, 'tis a
great while too soon: But if you'l have of the right and unfeigned
ones, you must come some months hence.
O Bridegroom, who can but pitty you, that you must thus toil, moil,
and run up and down, and the Jeweller and you have just now mist one
another; he is doubtless chatting with the Bride, and shewing of her
some costly Jewels, which perhaps dislike her ne'r a whit the worse;
and what she has then a mind to, you'l find work enough to disswade
her from, let them cost what they will; for she'l let you take care
for that. And it is time enough to be considered on, when the weddings
over. For now you have as much work as you can turn your self to, in
getting all your things in a readiness from the Tailor, Semstress, and
Haberdasher. And herewith, alas, you'l find that oftentimes two or
three weeks are consumed in this sort of business, with the greatest
slavery imaginable.
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