These are the first fruits and pleasures of marriage, therefore you must not so much as consider, nay hardly think, of being so long from home, though in the mean while all things there is going also the ready way to destruction; for it is the fashion, at such times, that maid, man, and all that are in your service, to act their own parts; and so merry they are that they possess their own freedom, and keep open Table, that the whole neighbourhood hears their laughter. Ask the neighbours when you come home, and you will quickly hear, that by them was no thought of care or sorrow; but that they have plaied, ranted and domineer'd so that the whole neighbourhood rung with it; and how they have played their parts either with some dried Baker, pricklouse Tailor, or smoaky Smith, they themselves know best. Down goes the spit to the fire; the pudding pan prepared; and if there be either Wine, Beer or any thing else wanting; though the Cellar be lockt; yet, by one means or another, they find out such pretty devices to juggle the Wine out of the Cask, nay and Sugar to boot too; that their inventions surpass all the stratagems that are quoted by the Author of the English Rogue; of which I could insert a vast number, but fear that it would occasion an ill example to the unlearned in that study. Howsoever they that have kept house long, and had both men & maid-servants, have undoubtedly found both the truth and experience hereof sufficiently. And how many maids, in this manner, have been eased of that heavy burthen of their maidenheads, is well known to the whole World. These are also some of the first fruits and delights of marriage; but if they were of the greatest sort, they might be esteemed and approved of to be curable, or a remedy found for prevention. Yet let them be of what state and condition they will, every one feels the damage and inconvenience thereof, ten times more then it is outwardly visible unto him, or can comprehend. For if you saw it you would by one or other means shun or prevent it. But now, let it be who it will, whether Counsellor, Doctor, Merchant, or Shopkeeper; the one neglects his Clients Suit, the other his Patients, the third his Negotiation & Trade, and the fourth his Customers; none of them all oft-times knowing from whence it arises that their first years gain is so inconsiderable. For above the continual running on of house-rent, the neglect and unnecessary expensive charge of servants; you consume your self also much mony in travelling and pleasure; besides the peril and uneasiness that you suffer to please and complaite your new married Mistris. O miserable pleasure!