The Tenants of Malory, Volume 2Le Fanu, Joseph Sheridan
General
The Tenants of Malory, Volume 2
Le Fanu, Joseph Sheridan
Mystery fiction
"_Very_, mind. As strong as the devil it must be, and as clear as--as
your conscience." He was getting out a tin case, as he spoke. "Here it
is. I got it in--I forget the name--a great place, near one of your
bridges. I suppose it's as good as any to be had in this place. Of
course it isn't _all_ coffee. We must go to the _heathen_ for that; but
if they haven't ground up toasted skeletons, or anything dirty in it,
I'm content. I'm told you can't eat or drink a mouthful here without
swallowing something you never bargained for. Everything is drugged.
Look at our Caiquejees! You have no such men in your padded
Horse-guards. And what do they live on? Why, a crust of brown bread and
a melon, and now and then a dish of pilauf! But it's good--it's
pure--it's what it calls itself. You d----d Christian cheats, you're an
opprobrium to commerce and civilisation; you're the greatest oafs on
earth, with all your police and spies. Why it's only to _will_ it, and
you _don't_; you let it go on. We are assuredly a beastly people!"
"Sugar, please, sir?"
"No, thank you."
"Take milk, sir?"
"Heaven forbid! Milk, indeed! I tell you what, Mrs.--What's your
name?--I tell you, if the Sultan had some of your great fellows--your
grocers, and bakers, and dairymen, and brewers, egad!--out there, he'd
have 'em on their ugly faces and bastinado their great feet into custard
pudding! I've seen fellows--and devilish glad I _was_ to see it, I can
tell you--screaming like stuck pigs, and their eyes starting out of
their heads, and their feet like bags of black currant jelly, ha, ha,
ha!--for a good deal less. Now, you see, ma'am, I have high notions of
honesty; and this tin case I'm going to give you will give me three
small cups of coffee, as strong as I've described, six times over; do
you understand?--six times three, eighteen; _eighteen_ small cups of
coffee; and don't let those pretty little foxes' cubs down stairs
meddle with it. Tell 'em I know what I'm about, and they'd better not,
ha, ha, ha! nor with anything that belongs to me, to the value of a
single piastre."
Miss Sarah Rumble was a good deal dismayed by the jubilant severity of
Mr. Dingwell's morals. She would have been glad had he been of a less
sharp and cruel turn of pleasantry. Her heart was heavy, and she wished
herself a happy deliverance, and had a vague alarm about the poor little
children's falling under suspicion, and of all that might follow. But
what could she do? Poverty is so powerless, and has so little time to
weigh matters maturely, or to prepare for any change; its hands are
always so full, and its stomach so empty, and its spirits so dull.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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