No. His head fell forward on his arm. Some dull weight of character--of
disillusion--interposed. He could do no better. He shut, stamped, and
posted what he had written.
* * * * *
At mid-day, in her Brookshire village, Diana received the letter--with
another from London, in a handwriting she did not know.
When she had read Marsham's it dropped from her hand. The color flooded
her cheeks--as though the heart leaped beneath a fresh blow which it
could not realize or measure. Was it so she would have written to
Oliver if--
She was sitting at her writing-table in the drawing-room. Her eyes
wandered through the mullioned window beside her to the hill-side and
the woods. This was Wednesday. Four days since, among those trees,
Oliver had spoken to her. During those four days it seemed to her that,
in the old Hebrew phrase, she had gone down into the pit. All the
nameless dreads and terrors of her youth, all the intensified fears of
the last few weeks, had in a few minutes become real and verified--only
in a shape infinitely more terrible than any fear among them all had
ever dared to prophesy. The story of her mother--the more she knew of
it, the more she realized it, the more sharply it bit into the tissues
of life; the more it seemed to set Juliet Sparling and Juliet Sparling's
child alone by themselves--in a dark world. Diana had never yet had the
courage to venture out-of-doors since the news came to her; she feared
to see even her old friends the Roughsedges, and had been invisible to
them since the Saturday; she feared even the faces of the
village children.
All through she seemed to have been clinging to Marsham's supporting
hand as to the clew which might--when nature had had its way--lead her
back out of this labyrinth of pain. But surely he would let her sorrow
awhile!--would sorrow with her. Under the strange coldness and brevity
of his letter, she felt like the children in the market-place of
old--"We have mourned unto you, and ye have not wept."
Yet if her story was not to be a source of sorrow--of divine pity--it
could only be a source of disgrace and shame. Tears might wash it out!
But to hate and resent it--so it seemed to her--must be--in a world,
where every detail of such a thing was or would be known--to go through
life branded and crushed by it. If the man who was to be her husband
could only face it thus (by a stern ostracism of the dead, by silencing
all mention of them between himself and her), her cheeks could never
cease to burn, her heart to shrink.
Now at last she felt herself weighed indeed to the earth, because
Marsham, in that measured letter, had made her realize the load on him.
All that huge wealth he was to give up for her? His mother had actually
the power to strip him of his inheritance?--and would certainly exercise
it to punish him for marrying her--Diana?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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