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promis'd her disgusted Friend, by a forc'd Indifference to restrain the
Liberties of the inamour'd _Gellius_.
The learned Times, I find, were not unacquainted with these _Female
Intimacies_: And by the Names they affix'd to the Persons practising them,
which I shall forbear to mention, 'tis plain they put none of the best
Constructions on their Familiarities.
_Plato_, I remember, offers at a Reason in Nature for such Conversations.
He tells us, that at first Mankind were made with _Two_ Heads, _Four_ Arms,
_Four_ Legs, and so every Way double: that of these, there were _three_
Sorts; some, double Men; some, double Women; and some Hermaphrodites.
_Jupiter_, upon an Offence committed, split them all into _Two's_; from
whence arises in Mankind that Desire of a Companion, as his other half to
perfect his Being. The Consequence of this Division was, that they, who in
their original State were _double Men_, are still fond of the _Ganymede's_
with smooth Chins; and they, who were at first _double Women_, are at this
Day enamoured of their own Sex, and _Platonicks_ as to any Commerce with
Ours.
I have heard so much to the Disadvantage of these _Inamorata's_, that I
consider a Man, who is link'd to such a Wife, in the State of the _Lover_
and his _Two Mistresses_ in the _Fable_. The one, who was a little turned
in Years, pulled out all his _black_ Hairs, to make him look nearer to her
Standing: and the other, who was in her Bloom, pick'd out all the _grey_
ones, that the World might not suspect she had an Old Man; 'till between
them, they made him as bald as Father _Time_ himself.
I shall conclude with the Story of an unfortunate Gentleman, who had
suffer'd heavily in this Way, and went abroad to avoid his Slavery. As he
was travelling from _Madrid_ to _Valladolid_, he found himself belated, and
wanted to take up his Night's Quarters in some middle Place. He was
informed, the nearest Way would bring him to a small Village, call'd
_Douegnas_; which with us would be the Village of _Governesses_. _But is
there no other Place_, said he, _within some reasonable Distance, either
short of, or beyond it_? They told him, No, unless it were at a _Gallows_.
_Nay, there shall be my Quarters then_, said he, _I am resolved; for a
Thousand_ Gibbets _are not so bad to me as One_ Douegna.
* * * * *
Printed for W. BOREHAM, at the _Angel_ in _Pater-Noster-Row_, where
Advertisements and Letters from Correspondents are taken in.
Numb. XXI.
THE
THEATRE.
By Sir _JOHN FALSTAFFE_.
_To be Continued every_ Tuesday _and_ Saturday.
Price Two-pence.
[Greek: Kronidês phrenas exeleto Zeus].
Homer.
Tuesday, _April 26. 1720._
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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