Canada -- Emigration and immigration -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Older couples -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
In the drawn dusk he wandered about the gardens, seeing the
glass-houses, which were so brisk and coloured in the day, ghostly as
water is ghostly under the first finger of the dark. Mattie had made
no attempt to look for him, so that he was alone, as he had been in
the early hours, but without the solace of his vision. The procession
of the year no longer marched in strength before him, sounding its
coloured trumpets as it passed. When he came to the place where the
dawnbell was to stand, he could no longer picture it blue and exquisite
against the soil.
For the third time that day rage seized him as he stood looking down at
the dark ground which had blossomed so easily for him in the morning,
but from which he could now conjure nothing but despair and gloom. He
knew definitely now that he had been trapped by fate, and felt none
the less bitter because he had sprung the trap with his own hand. He
thought of his children with love, but knew that for such as himself
there were things which were more than children. Closer to him than
breathing, and nearer than hands and feet.... His children had grown
away from him and made a life for themselves; but he, if he was to
follow them, could do nothing but pine and die.
He made up his mind as he stood that he would go back on his word, and
that after to-day he would shut his ears to Mattie’s pleadings for
ever. If she must go, she must go alone, and he must manage as best
he might. The letter had not been delivered yet, as far as he knew,
and, even if it had, he could always withdraw his notice. They would
not be hard on him at the Hall, knowing well enough as they did what
had brought him to this pass. For in writing that letter he had been
trapped ... trapped! The rage in him was so great that he shook with
it as he stood, clenching and unclenching his hands and grinding his
teeth. This time he actually cried aloud, and it seemed to him that the
cry rushed out and over the walls, so that even down at the Hall they
could hear him shouting that he was trapped....
And then suddenly Mattie’s face came to him as he had seen it, that
morning, fresh and sweet and glad after her dream-tryst of the night.
He saw the light in her eyes, and heard the break in her voice. He
thought of her years of beating against the bars, and of how for
her the trap he had sprung for himself meant the opening of her
prison-gate. Remembering these things, he knew that he could not break
his promise.... Slowly his rage subsided and his hands unclenched.
He stood, an indistinct figure in the dusk, with drooped shoulders
and bowed head. He had promised Mattie, and he could not fail her.
Perhaps, once safely Over There, he might be allowed to find peace, and
forget.
* * * * *
Turning towards the house, he saw Mattie running and stumbling towards
him across the gardens.
PART II
HERS
I
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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