Canada -- Emigration and immigration -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Older couples -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
She had seen herself passing between the houses, moving from one to
the other with the assurance of long custom, and never once feeling
that anything was strange. She had known which paths to take, which
windows to look through, which rooms to enter. She had known that you
always had trouble with Maggie’s doors, and that Ellen’s water-supply
wasn’t as good as it might be. She had known that Luke had a piano,
and that Joe (who hadn’t risen to one yet, in spite of his fondness
for humming), sent his children to Luke’s to practise. She had known
the hours they kept, the clothes they wore, their furniture and their
meals, their neighbours and their hired men. And they had known that
she knew. She had fitted into their midst as a glove fits a hand which
has never taken it off.
And other things, too,--the sort which nobody told, and which couldn’t
by any chance have got into their letters. Just when Maggie’s husband
was a bit tiresome with Maggie, and where Joe’s missis failed in being
just what he had hoped she would be.... Those queer sisters-in-law of
Ellen’s; and Luke’s father-in-law, who was the sort you could quite
well do without.... The trouble about the bit of money which Joe had
lent Maggie’s husband.... The trouble about the bit of money which
Ellen had lent Joe....
It surprised her to remember how much at home she had felt, how
completely in tune with conditions which she had never experienced in
the flesh. Why, she had even felt at home in the house which she had
seen as already built for herself and Kirkby, although in point of fact
it was not yet in existence! Just by closing her eyes she could see
herself in, it again, could feel, as she had felt in the night, her
pleasure in her environment. It was a small house, of course, with no
more than four rooms in it, at the most, but it was a smallness which
made for comfort and not constriction. She had felt so happy in it, so
snug, that she laughed contentedly at the very remembrance. It was a
queer thing, when you came to think of it, and rather uncanny, that you
could feel at home in a house which hadn’t even been built!
There were more than four rooms in the cottage in which she had lived
so long, but she had always felt pressed in upon by it, and as if she
could hardly breathe. It was a good place, of course, and a big one, as
cottages went,--almost too big, indeed, when it came to single-handed
work. But she had never yet felt at home in it, or known the intimate
joy of the home-lover and the home-maker. She had done her duty by
it, that was all. She had lived and worked in it merely as a caretaker
might have lived and worked, and on the few occasions when she had gone
away from it she had felt as if it had ceased to exist....
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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