Canada -- Emigration and immigration -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Older couples -- Fiction; Spouses -- Fiction
She had neither hated nor dreaded Kirkby, in spite of his home mists,
and even now the memory of their courtship had the power to thrill
her with its sweetness. But he had been the wrong mate for her,
nevertheless. He and all that he represented had muffled her spirit as
the mists had muffled her body. The bold driving-force that was in her
had been irritated by his reserved and delicate ways. It was amazing
that they had pulled together as well as they had,--she always reaching
outward, and he always holding back. Many a couple as badly suited
would have parted company before now.
She winced a little in her new happiness, remembering how often
she had felt bitterly towards him. She was ashamed, now, of their
many quarrels.... In the great peace that had come to her it seemed
impossible that there could ever have been anything but peace. Even
when they were not disputing, she had raged against him in her heart.
She flushed as she recalled that she had actually sunk so low as to try
to set the children against him....
She flushed and she was ashamed, but these troubles out of the past had
already vanished so far that they could not really hurt the present.
Already they were gone as the wrinkles in a cloth were gone as soon as
a hot iron was passed upon them. With the new peace had come to her
also a new vision. She had not meant to hurt Kirkby any more than he
had meant to hurt her. She would do her best to make up to him for it
in the little time that was left to them Over There.
It seemed strange to her now that her mother, who had read her so
plainly when she was small, had yet not seen fit to warn her when she
most required it. Perhaps she was one of those people who could see
things clearly in a child, but never thought about them again directly
they grew up. Even if she had thought, she would only have said that
a good husband like Kirkby was not to be sneezed at. Mattie herself
would have said it if a child of her own had asked her. He was a
decent, steady young man in a job to which she was accustomed. You did
not sneeze at a man like that if you had any sense of values.
She had not sneezed at him, and she was not sneezing now, though she
had sneezed often enough at what he had had to offer. It was a better
position, of course, than might well have fallen to her lot; a better
one, for instance, than had fallen to her sisters. It was not Kirkby’s
fault that the longing with which she had been born had finally got on
her mind; and it was certainly her fault, if it was anybody’s, that the
children had been born with it, too!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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