Hawker gestured at the picture. "That dunce of a thing. It makes me
tired. It isn't worth a hang. Blame it!"
"What?" Hollanden strode forward and stood before the painting with legs
apart, in a properly critical manner. "What? Why, you said it was your
best thing."
"Aw!" said Hawker, waving his arms, "it's no good! I abominate it! I
didn't get what I wanted, I tell you. I didn't get what I wanted. That?"
he shouted, pointing thrust-way at it--"that? It's vile! Aw! it makes me
weary."
"You're in a nice state," said Hollanden, turning to take a critical
view of the painter. "What has got into you now? I swear, you are more
kinds of a chump!"
Hawker crooned dismally: "I can't paint! I can't paint for a damn! I'm
no good. What in thunder was I invented for, anyhow, Hollie?"
"You're a fool," said Hollanden. "I hope to die if I ever saw such a
complete idiot! You give me a pain. Just because she don't----"
"It isn't that. She has nothing to do with it, although I know well
enough--I know well enough----"
"What?"
"I know well enough she doesn't care a hang for me. It isn't that. It is
because--it is because I can't paint. Look at that thing over there!
Remember the thought and energy I---- Damn the thing!"
"Why, did you have a row with her?" asked Hollanden, perplexed. "I
didn't know----"
"No, of course you didn't know," cried Hawker, sneering; "because I had
no row. It isn't that, I tell you. But I know well enough"--he shook his
fist vaguely--"that she don't care an old tomato can for me. Why should
she?" he demanded with a curious defiance. "In the name of Heaven, why
should she?"
"I don't know," said Hollanden; "I don't know, I'm sure. But, then,
women have no social logic. This is the great blessing of the world.
There is only one thing which is superior to the multiplicity of social
forms, and that is a woman's mind--a young woman's mind. Oh, of course,
sometimes they are logical, but let a woman be so once, and she will
repent of it to the end of her days. The safety of the world's balance
lies in woman's illogical mind. I think----"
"Go to blazes!" said Hawker. "I don't care what you think. I am sure of
one thing, and that is that she doesn't care a hang for me!"
"I think," Hollanden continued, "that society is doing very well in its
work of bravely lawing away at Nature; but there is one immovable
thing--a woman's illogical mind. That is our safety. Thank Heaven,
it----"
"Go to blazes!" said Hawker again.
CHAPTER XXXIII.
As Hawker again entered the room of the great windows he glanced in
sidelong bitterness at the chandelier. When he was seated he looked at
it in open defiance and hatred.
Men in the street were shovelling at the snow. The noise of their
instruments scraping on the stones came plainly to Hawker's ears in a
harsh chorus, and this sound at this time was perhaps to him a
_miserere_.
"I came to tell you," he began, "I came to tell you that perhaps I am
going away."
"Going away!" she cried. "Where?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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