Civil service -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
'Do not say so; pray do not say so. Do not think that we say so to
ourselves. I grieve for your faults. Charley; I know they are grievous
and wicked; but I know how much there is of good in you. I know how
clever you are, how excellent your heart is, how sweet your disposition.
I trust, I trust in God, you may reform, and be the pride of your
friends. I trust that I yet may be proud of knowing you----'
'No one will ever be proud of me,' said Charley.
'We shall all be proud of you, if you will resolve to turn away from
childish things now that you are no longer a child--your faults are
faults which as yet may be so easily relinquished. But, oh, Charley----'
and then Mrs. Woodward paused and looked wistfully into his face. She
had now come to the point at which she had to make her prayer to him.
She had resolved to tell him the cause of her fears, and to trust to his
honour to free her from them. Now was the moment for her to speak out;
but now that the moment was come, the words were wanting.
She looked wistfully into his face, but he did not even guess what was
her meaning. He knew the secret of his own love; but he did not know
that Katie also had her secret. He had never dreamt that his faults,
among all their ill effects, had paled her cheek, made wan her arm,
silenced her voice, and dimmed her eye. When he had heard Katie cough,
he had in nowise connected the hated sound with his own arrest. He had
thought only of his own love.
'Oh! Charley--I know I can trust you,' said Mrs. Woodward. 'I know you
are gentle and good. You will be gentle and good to us, will you not?
you will not make us all wretched?'
Charley declared that he would not willingly do anything to cause pain
to any of them.
'No--I am sure you will not. And therefore, Charley, you must not see
Katie any more.'
At this time they had turned off the road into a shady lane, in which
the leaves of autumn were beginning to fall. A path led over a stile
away from the lane into the fields, and Mrs. Woodward had turned towards
it, as though intending to continue their walk in that direction. But
when she had reached the stile, she had sat down upon the steps of it,
and Charley had been listening to her, standing by, leaning on the top
rail.
'And therefore, Charley, you must not see Katie any more.' So much she
said, and then she looked into his face with imploring eyes.
It was impossible that he should answer her at once. He had to realize
so much that had hitherto not been expressed between them, before he
could fully understand what she meant; and then he was called on to give
up so much that he now learnt for the first time was within his reach!
Before he could answer her he had to assure himself that Katie loved
him; he had to understand that her love for one so abandoned was
regarded as fatal; and he had to reply to a mother's prayer that he
would remove himself from the reach of a passion which to him was worth
all the world beside.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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