Civil service -- Fiction; London (England) -- Fiction
'It is ten times more likely that they are quarrelling,' said Linda.
'Oh! the quarrels of lovers--we know all about that, don't we?'
'You must not call them lovers, Alaric; mamma would not like it, nor
indeed would Gertrude, I am sure.'
'I would not for the world do anything that Mrs. Woodward would not
like; but between ourselves, Linda, are they not lovers?'
'No; that is, not that I know of. I don't believe that they are a bit,'
said Linda, blushing at her own fib.
'And why should they not be? How indeed is it possible that they
should not be; that is--for I heartily beg Gertrude's pardon--how is it
possible that Harry should not be in love with her?'
'Indeed, Gertrude is very, very beautiful,' said Linda, with the
faintest possible sigh, occasioned by the remembrance of her own
inferior charms.
'Indeed she is, very, very beautiful,' repeated Alaric, speaking with
an absent air as though his mind were fully engaged in thinking of the
beauty of which he spoke.
It was not in Linda's nature to be angry because her sister was admired,
and because she was not. But yet there was something in Alaric's warm
tone of admiration which gave her a feeling of unhappiness which she
would have been quite unable to define, even had she attempted it. She
saw her sister and Harry Norman before her, and she knew in her heart
that they were lovers, in spite of her little weak declaration to the
contrary. She saw how earnestly her sister was loved, and she in
her kindly loving nature could not but envy her fancied happiness.
Envy--no--it certainly was not envy. She would not for worlds have
robbed her sister of her admirer; but it was so natural for her to feel
that it must be delicious to be admired!
She did not begrudge Gertrude Norman's superior beauty, nor his greater
wealth; she knew that Gertrude was entitled to more, much more, than
herself. But seeing that Norman was Gertrude's lover, was it not natural
that Alaric should be hers? And then, though Harry was the handsomer and
the richer, she liked Alaric so much the better of the two. But now that
Alaric was alone with her, the only subject he could think to talk of
was Gertrude's beauty!
It must not be supposed that these thoughts in their plainly-developed
form passed through Linda's mind. It was not that she thought all this,
but that she felt it. Such feelings are quite involuntary, whereas one's
thoughts are more or less under command. Linda would not have allowed
herself to think in this way for worlds; but she could not control her
feelings.
They walked on side by side, perfectly silent for a minute or two, and
an ill-natured tear was gathering itself in the corner of Linda's eye:
she was afraid even to raise her hand to brush it away, for fear Alaric
should see her, and thus it went on gathering till it was like to fall.
'How singular it is,' said Alaric--'how very singular, the way in which
I find myself living with you all! such a perfect stranger as I am.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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