"The child is dull here, in the town. . . . My
business"--Massignac was a wine-agent--"takes me all
over the country . . . and Bérangère is left behind
alone. . . . I was thinking that, in memory of our
friendly relations, you might be willing to keep her
with you for a few weeks. . . . The country air will
restore the colour to her cheeks. . . ."
My uncle was a very kindly, good-hearted man. The few weeks were
followed by several months and then by several years, during which the
worthy Massignac at intervals announced his intention of coming to
Meudon to fetch the child. So it came about that Bérangère did not
leave the Lodge at all and that she surrounded my uncle with so much
gay and boisterous affection that, in spite of his apparent
indifference, Noël Dorgeroux had felt unable to part with his
god-daughter. She enlivened the silent old house with her laughter and
her charm. She was the element of disorder and delightful
irresponsibility which gives a value to order, discipline and
austerity.
Returning this year after a long absence, I had found, instead of the
child whom I had known, a girl of twenty, just as much a child and
just as boisterous as ever, but exquisitely pretty, graceful in form
and movement and possessed of the mystery which marks those who have
led solitary lives within the shadow of an old and habitually silent
man. From the first I felt that my presence interfered with her habits
of freedom and isolation. At once audacious and shy, timid and
provocative, bold and shrinking, she seemed to shun me in particular;
and, during two months of a life lived in common, when I saw her at
every meal and met her at every turn, I had failed to tame her. She
remained remote and wild, suddenly breaking off our talks and
displaying, where I was concerned, the most capricious and
inexplicable moods.
Perhaps she had an intuition of the profound disturbance that was
awaking within me; perhaps her confusion was due to my own
embarrassment. She had often caught my eyes fixed on her red lips or
observed the change that came over my voice at certain times. And she
did not like it. Man's admiration disconcerted her.
"Look here," I said, adopting a roundabout method so as not to startle
her, "your god-father maintains that human beings, some of them more
than others, give forth a kind of emanation. Remember that Noël
Dorgeroux is first and foremost a chemist and that he sees and feels
things from the chemist's point of view. Well, to his mind, this
emanation is manifested by the emission of certain corpuscles, of
invisible sparks which form a sort of cloud. This is what happens, for
instance, in the case of a woman. Her charm surrounds you . . ."
My heart was beating so violently as I spoke these words that I had to
break off. Still, she did not seem to grasp their meaning; and she
said, with a proud little air:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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