She looked pale and washed-out with the heat. The outlines of her
splendid figure were drooping, and there was an ominous hollowing of the
curves of her face and arms. She sat at the table, her cheek resting on
her palm, reading from a pile of letters. They were long letters,
closely written in a sharp, scrawling hand, on thin paper that crackled
gently as she fingered it. Every now and then she looked up anxiously,
and seemed to listen. Then her head would bow again, and the paper would
crackle softly as before.
At last the garden gate clicked, and she saw the postman's cap coming up
the path between the rows of sweet peas. She sprang to her feet,
trembling and fighting for her self-command. She reached the door just
as he lifted his hand to knock.
"A letter for you, miss," and old Winkworth smiled genially.
The colour rushed over Janey's cheeks like a wave, then as a wave ebbed
out again. She took the letter with a hand that shook piteously, her
lips parted and a low laugh broke from them. Then suddenly her
expression changed--in such a manner that Winkworth muttered anxiously--
"Fine afternoon, ain't it, miss?"
"Yes--a glorious afternoon. Good-day, Winkworth."
"Good-day, miss," and he shambled off.
Janey turned into the house, and dropping into her chair by the table,
began to sob childishly. It was more from exhaustion than grief--the
exhaustion of hopes strained to breaking-point, and then allowed to
relax again into disappointment and frustration. She was so dreadfully
tired--she so longed to sleep, quietly, deeply, at once. She laid her
head on the table, and her shoulders heaved, straining and struggling as
if the burden of her sorrow were physical.
Then suddenly she noticed the unopened letter, and her sobs broke out
with even greater vehemence. Nigel! poor Nigel! She had not opened his
letter--she had flung it aside and forgotten it, because it was not
Quentin's. It was the day of his concert, too--what a beast she felt!
She tore open the envelope, and wiped away the tears that blinded her.
"MY OWN DEAR JANEY,
"This is just to keep myself from thinking of that damned concert.
It's scaring me a bit--more than a bit, in fact. Who would have
thought that any one with my past could suffer from stage
fright?--but that little thing of Scriabin's is the very devil. Old
von G. has been ragging me no end over it--we nearly came to blows
last practice. I hope you and the lad don't mind my not wanting you
to come up for the show; I feel it would be the last straw for you
two to see me make a fool of myself--not that I mean to, but you
never know what may happen. Cheer up--you shall come and help me
when I fill the Albert Hall.
"By the way, I saw that little bounder Quentin Lowe at a concert at
the Queen's last Sunday.
"Now, good-bye; I'm turning into bed. This time to-morrow it'll all
be over, and I'll send you a telegram. Greetings to the lad.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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