The Three Perils of Man; or, War, Women, and Witchcraft, Vol. 1 (of 3)Hogg, James
History
The Three Perils of Man; or, War, Women, and Witchcraft, Vol. 1 (of 3)
Hogg, James
Historical fiction; Scotland -- History -- Robert II, 1371-1390 -- Fiction
"She is esteemed as very beautiful; for my part I think her but so so,"
said Tudor: "She has fair hair, light full blue eyes, and ruddy cheeks;
and her brow, I believe, is as fine and as white as any brow can be."
"O frightful! what a description! what an ugly minx it must be! Fair
hair! red, I suppose, or dirty dull yellow! Light blue eyes! mostly
white I fancy? Ah, what a frightful immodest ape it must be! I could
spit upon the huzzy!"
"Mary shield us!" exclaimed young Tudor, moving farther away from the
prince, and striking lightly with his hand on his doublet as if
something unclean had been squirted on it. "Mary shield us! What does
the saucy Scot mean?"
Every one of the troopers put his hand to his sword, and watched the eye
of his master. The prince beckoned to the Scots to be quiet; but Lord
Tudor did no such thing, for he was flustered and wroth.
"Pardon me, my lord," said the prince, "I may perhaps suffer enough from
the beauty and perfections of your fair cousin after I see her; you may
surely allow me to deride them now. I am trying to depreciate the charms
I dread. But I do not like the description of her. Tell me seriously do
you not think her very intolerable?"
"I tell you, prince, I think quite otherwise. I believe Jane to be fifty
times more lovely than any dame in Scotland; and a hundred times more
beautiful than your tawny virago of a sister, whom I shall rejoice to
tame like a spaniel. The haughty, vain, conceited, swart venom, that she
should lay her commands on the Douglas to conquer or die for her! A fine
presumption, forsooth! But the world shall see whether the charms of my
cousin, Lady Jane Howard, or those of your grim and tawdry princess,
have most power."
"Yes, they shall, my lord," said the prince: "In the mean time let us
drop the subject. I see I have given you offence, not knowing that you
were in love with Lady Jane, which now I clearly see to be the case.
Nevertheless, go on with the description, for I am anxious to hear all
about her, and I promise to approve if there be a bare possibility of
it."
"Her manner is engaging, and her deportment graceful and easy; her waist
is slim, and her limbs slender and elegant beyond any thing you ever
saw," said Lord Tudor.
"O shocking!" exclaimed the prince, quite forgetting himself: "Worst of
all! I declare I have no patience with the creature. After such a
description, who can doubt the truth of the reports about the extreme
levity of her conduct? Confess now, my lord, that she is very free of
her favours, and that the reason why so many young gentlemen visit her
is now pretty obvious."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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