The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume TwoCarleton, William
General
The Tithe-Proctor: The Works of William Carleton, Volume Two
Carleton, William
Ireland -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
He accordingly preceded Purcel to his office, accompanied by Sam
Finigan, a kind of thorough male domestic who acted as his clerk. Here
he took his seat with a good deal of ceremony, hemmed several times, and
desired Hourigan to be admitted. Just at that moment, and while Hourigan
was coming in, a young lad, or tiger, a son of Finigan's, by the
way, who had been in the habit of carrying letters to and from the
neighboring post-office, now entered and presented him with one, to the
following effect:--
“TO O'DRISKAL, THE SHONEEN MAGISTRIDGE.
“Sur this is to let you no that if you go an givin wan la for the poor
and anud'her for the rich you will soon get a bullet through you as
Tandrem af Tavnibeg got. If you wish to bay safe thin bay the poor man's
friend--oderways it'll be worse for you.
“Kaptn Jostige.”
O'Driscol having read this communication, became desperately disturbed
for about a couple of minutes, after which, as if struck by some sudden
thought, he appeared to recover himself considerably, but by no
means fully, as was evident from the agitation of his voice and the
involuntary tremor of his hands.
“I hope, sir,” said Purcel, who could not help observing the commotion
into which the notice had put him, “that you have received no ill
tidings. You seem agitated and alarmed, or rather distressed, if one can
judge; I hope there's nothing wrong.”
“Why, no,” replied the magistrate, “not exactly wrong; but it is
certainly an infamous country to live in. I am an impartial man, Mr.
Purcel--I mane, sir, an impartial magistrate; but the fact is, sir,
that every man is marked whose life is valuable to the government of his
country. I know no man, Mr. Purcel--mark me you, too, Hourigan--I know
no man, sir, in my capacity of a magistrate--hem--hem!--only according
to the merits--I am as much the poor man's friend as I am the rich
man's, and of the two more: if I lane at all, which I don't, it is to
the poor man; but as an impartial man--magistrate I mane--I know naither
rich or poor. On the bench, I say, I know naither poverty nor riches,
barring, as I said, upon the merits.”
“Beggin' your pardon, your worship--an' before you begin--as I was
comin' down here a while agone,” said Hourigan, “I seen a strange and
suspicious-lookin' man inside the hedge at the shrubbery below; he was
an ill-faced villain, plaise your reverence, an' I thought I seen his
pockets stickin' out as if he had pistols in them. I thought it better
to tell your worship.”
The worthy magistrate had scarcely recovered from the first fit of
agitation when this intelligence threw him into an immediate relapse.
Indeed so ludicrous was his distress that he actually wiped the
perspiration from his forehead.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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