So far she had never faltered or shown any sign of weakness under
the long-drawn-out persecution, but she was becoming aware that,
strive as she might, her endurance had its limits. She was but
human, and she was intensely sensitive to unkindness. Her nerves
were beginning to give way under the strain. There were even times
when she felt a breakdown to be inevitable, and only the thought of
her step-mother's triumph warded it off. Once down, and she knew
she would be a slave, broken beyond redemption to the most pitiless
tyranny. And so, though her strength was worn threadbare through
perpetual strain, she clung to it still. If only--oh, if only--Guy
would write! If he should be ill--if he should fail her--she felt
that it would be the end of everything. For nothing else mattered.
She did not greatly wish to go to the Hunt Ball that year. She
felt utterly out of tune with all gaiety. But she could think of
no decent excuse for remaining away. And she was still buoying
herself up with the thought that Guy's silence could not last much
longer. She was bound to hear from him soon.
She went to the Ball, therefore, feeling tired and dispirited, and
looking quite _passee_, as her step-mother several times assured
her.
She had endured a long harangue upon jealousy that evening, which
vice Mrs. Ingleton declared she was allowing to embitter her whole
life, and she was weary to death of the subject and the penetrating
voice that had discoursed upon it. Once or twice she had been
stung into some biting rejoinder, but for the most part she had
borne the lecture in silence. After all, what did it matter? What
did it matter?
They reached the Town Hall and went up the carpeted steps.
Preston, in hunting pink, received them. He captured Sylvia's hand
and pressed it tight against his heart.
She stared at him with wide unsmiling eyes. "Seen the local rag?"
he asked, as he grinned amorously into them. "There's something to
interest you in it. Our local prophet has been at work."
She did not know what he meant, or feel sufficiently interested to
inquire. She pulled her hand free, and passed on. His familiarity
became more marked and more insufferable every time she encountered
him. But still she asked herself again, what did it matter?
He laughed and let her go.
In the cloak-room people looked at her oddly, but beyond ordinary
greetings no one spoke to her. She did not know that it was solely
her utter wretchedness that kept them at a distance.
She entered the ballroom behind Mrs. Ingleton, and at once Preston
descended upon her again. He had scrawled his name against half a
dozen dances on her card before she realized what he was doing.
She began to protest, but again that deadly feeling of apathy
overcame her. She was worn out--worn out. What did it matter
whether she danced with the man or not?
Young Vernon Eversley, a friendly boy whom she had always liked,
pursed his lips when he saw her programme.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account