First loves -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Russian fiction -- Translations into English
My father stopped, and, turning sharply on his heel, went back. When he
was on a level with Zinaïda, he made her a courteous bow. She, too,
bowed to him, with some astonishment on her face, and dropped her book.
I saw how she looked after him. My father was always irreproachably
dressed, simple and in a style of his own; but his figure had never
struck me as more graceful, never had his grey hat sat more becomingly
on his curls, which were scarcely perceptibly thinner than they had
once been.
I bent my steps toward Zinaïda, but she did not even glance at me; she
picked up her book again and went away.
VI
The whole evening and the following day I spent in a sort of dejected
apathy. I remember I tried to work and took up Keidanov, but the boldly
printed lines and pages of the famous text-book passed before my eyes
in vain. I read ten times over the words: “Julius Caesar was
distinguished by warlike courage.” I did not understand anything and
threw the book aside. Before dinner-time I pomaded myself once more,
and once more put on my tail-coat and necktie.
“What’s that for?” my mother demanded. “You’re not a student yet, and
God knows whether you’ll get through the examination. And you’ve not
long had a new jacket! You can’t throw it away!”
“There will be visitors,” I murmured almost in despair.
“What nonsense! fine visitors indeed!”
I had to submit. I changed my tail-coat for my jacket, but I did not
take off the necktie. The princess and her daughter made their
appearance half an hour before dinner-time; the old lady had put on, in
addition to the green dress with which I was already acquainted, a
yellow shawl, and an old-fashioned cap adorned with flame-coloured
ribbons. She began talking at once about her money difficulties,
sighing, complaining of her poverty, and imploring assistance, but she
made herself at home; she took snuff as noisily, and fidgeted and
lolled about in her chair as freely as ever. It never seemed to have
struck her that she was a princess. Zinaïda on the other hand was
rigid, almost haughty in her demeanour, every inch a princess. There
was a cold immobility and dignity in her face. I should not have
recognised it; I should not have known her smiles, her glances, though
I thought her exquisite in this new aspect too. She wore a light barége
dress with pale blue flowers on it; her hair fell in long curls down
her cheek in the English fashion; this style went well with the cold
expression of her face. My father sat beside her during dinner, and
entertained his neighbour with the finished and serene courtesy
peculiar to him. He glanced at her from time to time, and she glanced
at him, but so strangely, almost with hostility. Their conversation was
carried on in French; I was surprised, I remember, at the purity of
Zinaïda’s accent. The princess, while we were at table, as before made
no ceremony; she ate a great deal, and praised the dishes. My mother
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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